Everyone has to start somewhere with flagellation, or flogging as it’s more commonly known. If you’re into impact play, you’re bound to give or receive your first flogging at some point. It’s normal to be nervous, but to have a more pleasurable experience, check out these tips from Kayla Lords...

 

The Best Tips for Giving Your First Flogging

Don’t be a robospanker: There are spanked bottoms and then there are flogged bottoms

Flagellation should be enjoyable for everyone. Tops don’t have to be a robospanker and give the bottom the flogging of their life. A bottom doesn’t have to want the most brutal flogging. First floggings aren’t perfect but they can be fun! Take it slow and never forget safety. Communicate, practice, and check in - you’ll find something that works for you both.

 

1. Find the right flogger

You might get your first flogger at a store. If you buy online, check the return policy. If you want to be spanking hard, you want a flogger that is comfortable to hold, has a balanced weight, and is made from a good material. Suede or soft leather with long strands are classic. Plastic, paracord, or strands with monkey knots are fun, but not for beginners.

 

2. Practice first

The first time you swing a flogger, it should NOT be against your partner’s body. Flagellation takes lots of practice. Start with a pillow to get a feel for it. You need to know how it feels in your hand and when it lands on something.

 

3. Spanking hard - Try it on yourself first

Try the flogger against your arm or leg. You don’t have to get into self-flagellation, but never hit your partner with something until you know what it feels like yourself.

 

4. Start slow & check in

Position your partner so they are comfortable and that you can reach them. Start slow. Begin with lighter strokes. Work up to a faster, stingier impact. You will have to practice a while before this becomes easy. Check in with your partner. They may want more or less.

 

spanked bottoms

Public floggings are more fun when you're tied to your partner!

 

5. Watch where you strike

Beginners should stick to spanked bottoms and backs. As you become more skilled, you can flog their chest or legs or even groin. Avoid soft tissue areas when spanking hard - the stomach and sides, especially. You could injure an internal organ.

 

6. Stop & start

To keep your partner in suspense and give your arm a rest, stop and start. Mix in different sensations into your scene. Spank them with your hand. Maybe use a Wartenberg wheel. Dirty talk. You both get a break, and it makes the next round much more intense.

 

7. Don’t be afraid to stop early

You might’ve planned to flog your partner for 30 minutes. Now your arm aches, and they don’t seem to enjoy it. Stop. Do something different. The times you have to stop is when your partner gives the safeword or isn’t coherent enough to respond when you check in.

 

8. Receiving your first flogging

As a bottom, you may or may not have an experienced partner for your first flogging. First things first: set up a safeword, check in, and start slow. This doesn’t always happen but it should. Know what to expect for your first flogging so you have a better experience and stay safe no matter who your partner is, and know your limits when spanking hard or in areas you are unfamiliar with.

 

9. Try to relax

It’s exciting and a little scary when you try something new. Your muscles may tense as a result, especially if you’re anticipating impact. Do your best to relax. When you’re tight, it usually hurts worse. Breathe deep and remember your safeword.

 

10. Tell your partner when it’s too much

Even the best partner can get overexcited. I need a slow and steady beginning. When my dominant gets excited, he sometimes begins too hard and too fast. We use the color system: Green means keep going. Yellow means slow down. Red is stop.

 

11. When something is wrong

Usually a weird, out of place yelp is enough to let my partner know something isn’t right. There’s a difference between good pain and bad pain. When it’s not right, say something. You must be as aware of where the flogger lands as your partner is. Avoid the front and sides of the torso.

 

12. Focus on what feels good

I focus on the rhythm, I can float away into a happy place. It’s not always subspace but it does help me last longer. If your mind can’t stop thinking, it could keep you from enjoying it. Of course, everyone is different so if frantic worry or making mental to do lists during a scene is a kink of yours, go for it.

 

13. Not just spanking hard: know the flogger could land between your legs

Let your partner know if it’s a hard limit, but if not, don’t be surprised if you feel the stinging kiss of the flogger between your legs. It’s better for an experienced partner to do this. No matter who does it, you won’t be prepared for it. A light but stinging strike to your genitals will keep you alert and ready for whatever happens next.

 

Got your own flogging stories or tips? Sharing is caring kinksters! Get talking about it in the chatrooms! Like DIY bdsm toys? Share your tricks for making kinktastic sex toys in the forums! If you’re new here welcome! Why not get the full experience and sign up for a free membership?

 

Images from Flickr Creative Commons user joped


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