In our next piece for 'Demystifying Fetishes' we're changing it up and exploring the world of ABDL- commonly known as adult diaper fetish. Amma and DippedUpMama open up and share about their  fond memories in the scene and some reasons why ABDL appealed to them.

Demystifying Fetishes


ABDL


Dan Savage coined the term GGG, to mean Good, Giving, and Game. The idea is that to be a good partner. You should be up for engaging in what the other person is into- as long as it doesn’t do you physical or emotional harm. In my life I’ve spent lots of time indulging the kinks of my partners. So much so, that I think engaging in other people’s kinks is one of my kinks.

When I entered the public kink scene, I got exposure to a lot of things that excited me. And a lot of things that didn’t draw my interest. Many people enter kink thinking they know exactly what their limits are. For many people, those limits might shift and change a bit. As they get more familiar with themselves, and what the various kinks actually entail.

Don't judge a book by its cover:


When I started being publicly kinky, I didn’t think diaper play was for me. And then, at a party, someone I had a crush on, who wanted me to play with them while they were diapered. And I realized that while the diaper itself doesn’t turn me on, them wanting to wear it also didn’t turn me off.

Diaper fetish, or ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lover) is subject to at least as much stigma as other kinks, and maybe more. There appears to be a hierarchy in kink, from most acceptable to least. And diapers seem to be among the least accepted, or least understood. I was once told that diaper lovers would sometimes “hide” among the furries. Since they could wear their diapers under those costumes without anyone noticing.

Amma explains why some people have reservations-
“I might venture to suggest that due to the misunderstanding of this particular subset of alternative lifestyle. People in the ABDL community can be treated with a disdain reserved for the more taboo areas of kink. The misunderstanding being that ABDL is directly connected to child abuse or the exploitation of youth. This fetish seems to mostly be about connecting in a unique way with your care giver. And giving up some of the ever present control we are expected to manifest as adults. I have never met anyone that is remotely interested in playing with anyone that is not an adult.

abdl

What's all the stink about?


So, stigma aside, what’s the appeal? DippedUpMama explains-
What I like about wearing diapers? They have this soft pillowy feel that I super enjoy. You know it's weird, because when I was younger I always loved the really big maxi pads. Haha, but like I would even put two on so they lined my whole underwear and it felt so comfortable. When I was finally able to try an AB diaper, I was stoked about how cozy they felt. I've always loved piss. And enjoy pissing in weird places. So as soon as I was able to put one I peed almost immediately and it felt terribly naughty, warm, and sexy. I was into everything to do with it.”

She goes on to say, “Putting diapers on someone else? Now that's a very special feeling. Most people aren't used to being diapered. Even ones who have dreamt of it their whole lives. I've been the first person to diaper quite a few adorable babies. And I feel so lucky to hold that memory with someone. I love feeling the physical power dynamic of being over someone while their are so vulnerable and open. I love cleaning little babies spic and span. And occasionally giving them the extra special Mommy treatment. I love the connection, I love the power, I like being all up in peoples goodies.”



Time for a change?


There’s a large contingent of diaper fetishists on FetLife- the internet’s social media home for the fetish community.  Tumblr also has a sizable community, where many in the ABDL scene keep blogs. On Tumblr, you’ll find where the diaper fetish overlaps with age play. Though certainly some people engage in one and not the other.

The ABDL crowd puts on an annual event called Camp Abdulia. This camp caters to all things diaper, while also welcoming other kinks. For friends of mine that have gone, it’s been a revelation to be surrounded by so many people who share the same kink. Especially when people of similar interests can be hard to find in smaller kink scenes.

When you get right down to it, diapers appeal to people for the same reasons as many other kinks. You’ve got this incredible vulnerability, which can lead to intense connection. And you’ve got a tangible way to express the exchange of power, and to express love and care. All of these reasons are cited by people when discussing other kinks.

Ultimately, the difference is in the details.


Stella Harris is an author, educator, and coach who helps people build the skills, knowledge, and confidence they need to explore their sexuality safely and free of shame. You can learn more about Stella, or schedule a consultation, on her website, or follow her on Twitter: @stellaerotica or IG: @stellaharriserotica
Images by PVC Diapers and PVC Diapers via Flickr.com

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