Can cutting off oxygen-rich blood to the brain really make your orgasms better?! We’ve asked author Sienna Saint-Cyr to share her personal experiences with us on choke play, asphyxiation, and orgasm control.
Choking and orgasms
When a friend admitted to me that she loved being choked during sex, my heart stopped. I’d been abused, suffocated even, and the thought of that made me want to leap from my skin and beat the hell out of the guy doing it to her. Thankfully, I swallowed my instant reaction and decided to be open. After all, she’d been doing it for years and was adamant that it made her orgasms damn strong.
Does choke play and orgasm control work?
I researched choke play and found that there are several ways to cut off air supply and that only a small portion of folks take things to the extreme point of passing out. While that practice isn’t for me, once I’d had more knowledge, I felt better exploring choking and suffocation. In fact, what really opened me up was someone telling me that people hold their breath when they orgasm.
Chocking and heightened orgasms
I tried not holding my breath while coming and I couldn’t! Which showed me that I was misunderstanding the choking process. Eventually, I learned that asphyxiation is about cutting off the oxygen supply to the brain to cause a buildup of carbon dioxide. Which then creates a giddy, euphoric feeling. So choking can heighten an orgasm, just as holding our breath can.
In case you slept through anatomy...
The process of choking
After reading up on choke play, I found that choking is best done by pressing on the carotid artery. Not by pressing on the windpipe. If the person coughs, STOP. You’re doing it wrong! I suggest looking at a diagram of where the artery is, then feeling with your fingers gently to locate it on either side of the throat. Begin with small amounts of pressure to the arteries—again, not the windpipe—to find what works best for you and your partner.
When I’m having this done, I prefer a lighter amount of pressure until right before I come. Once I start to orgasm, then I like firmer pressure. I don’t care for playing where my ability to breathe is completely cut off. I enjoy a mostly cut off airflow, but not all the way.
Orgasm Control
I love having my orgasms controlled. I find it to be one of the hottest methods of build up. There are a few ways my partners and I go about playing with orgasm control, choking and suffocation are two of those. Since I’m not allowed to come without permission, when my partner(s) cut off my oxygen supply briefly, it causes me to feel that euphoric feeling that I also get right before my orgasm explodes into a full release.
It’s kind of a mind-fuck as I know I’m not allowed to come, but the euphoria tricks my brain into thinking I already am! This is why the person applying this pressure to me only does it for a quick moment. Seconds. Otherwise, I’d likely not be able to prevent coming.
Once I’m granted that permission, then my airflow might be compromised for slightly longer. But I know that until that hand is fully over my mouth, I’m not able to release all the way. It makes me crave this sensation and has gone a long way in helping me move past being choked in a non-consensual way. Consent and joy have contextualised this once traumatic event and allowed me to add it to my favourite kink—orgasm control!
Choke play and orgasm control safety tips
Keep in mind, when you cut off oxygen to the brain, it doesn’t take long for the person to pass out. Pressing on the carotid artery should be done with extreme caution!!!
While I’ve learned to love a hand over my mouth or at my throat, I wouldn’t be okay with it if I was bound and unable to tap someone’s hand to alert them that I’m about to pass out. My partners and I are about safety first. Remember, this type of edging is dangerous play. If something goes wrong, get help right away.
On the plus side, just the thought of suffocation or someone having that level of Dominance and control can be hot without much need of physical choking. Your exploration doesn’t have to be extreme.
If you’re going to play with choking or suffocation, read lots of books and articles. Talk to people that take part and ask what safety precautions they employ. Watch demonstrations. Choking kink is more popular than I ever realised and many kink clubs and sex shops that educate on these topics will have demo nights. Experienced people will literally teach you how to take part in this risk-aware consensual kink (also known as RACK).
I’m a firm believer in doing research before you take part. Know what you’re getting into and how it works. The results can be tasty and full of orgasm, or they can be highly dangerous and lead to death. Doing your homework will go a long way to keeping your partner and you safe.
Got your own experience with breath play or tips to share? Get the conversation going in the forum or post a comment below.-min.jpg.f26f43110d2b47945d6963308e943fc1.jpg)
Images from Erika Lust & Flickr Creative Commons
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