Subspace is a word that circles most BDSM events and parties, yet there is no real definition for what it means. The word dropping often goes with it, and I find it helpful to use the words in connection to one another because for me dropping into subspace means being in an altered state of consciousness. One where my inhibitions are lowered and I’m completely open to my Dom. Connected to him on the deepest and most intuitive level.

What is subspace?


There are few things hotter than watching a sub’s breath deepen, pupils dilate, and her body swaying as if drunk. Whether it’s from hair pulling, a cheek slap, or a cane across her ass, these visual cues mean she’s just entered subspace. A delicious state of consciousness where inhibitions are lowered and the connection between submissive and Dom/Domme is at its strongest. This altered state opens the potential for healing, shifting perspectives, or even a simple journey away from mundane life.


While in subspace, there might be fifty people in a room around me. Yet all I see and feel and hear is my Dom. In this state, my pupils dilate and often times my eyes will roll to the back of my head. My breathing deepens and my responses to normal stimuli shift.

One sub I’ve witnessed in subspace likes to have her eyes and ears covered while dropped. This is because she becomes hypersensitive in this state. She’s overly responsive to everyone around. I’m the exact opposite and only feel my Dom. So each sub is different with his or her reaction to being in subspace.

When I’m dropped, it’s like taking the sweetest vacation from myself. My worries and fears fade and my pain transmutes into pleasure. I get to shine from my innermost place of beauty, one that is untouched by societal standards and norms. I quite literally have not a care in the world.

How I experience subspace


Reasons to desire being in subspace vary. Dropping a sub is a great way to lessen his or her stress, or to make a person feel something physically without being touched. A Dom/Domme might shift the sub’s perspective around an area of struggle, or in my case, transmute my pain into pleasure by simply suggesting that my pain feels good. My Dom has made me come many times this way. That’s because when I’m dropped, I don’t just hear his words, I feel them.

The danger of subspace is that when I’m there, I lose all concept of time. Hours can pass and it feels like twenty minutes. I don’t have control of what’s happening, so I need to trust my Dom completely in order for this transcendence to be possible. He must maintain control the entire time lest disaster strike. Because being in subspace is akin to being drunk. So while it’s beneficial and great fun, there are definite safety issues to take into account. The sub must be cared for until they’ve completely come back up or returned to normal consciousness.

Being in subspace is like taking a vacation from all the things we despise about ourselves. It offers a break from the things that make us unhappy and cause anxiety. We can exist as whatever we want to be in this place. Whether that means a pain slut transforming pain into pleasure, Daddy’s princess being pampered, a gurl experiencing extreme humiliation, or something else entirely.

Of course, I don’t want to only talk about my subspace vacations.


When I asked what others thought about visiting subspace, they had this to say:

“I like subspace because for me it is hard work making decisions and being in charge, even of myself sometimes. And I can't ever let go of anxiety, feeling I am ‘supposed’ to be doing something better than what I am already doing. When someone else tells me I am not allowed to make those choices it means I can't make those judgments about myself. And that means everything is ok. It means someone else has it covered. That I don't have to make sure everything is being done that needs to be done.” – FetLife user metamorph

“Things go blissfully quiet from the everyday noise in your head. Every decision we make leads to noise... ‘Did I make the right decision, was it the right time, should I have eaten that’. I crave subspace most when I'm really busy in my everyday life, or when I'm depressed for whatever reason. Just the ability to not think makes me crave vacationing into subspace.” – my submissive in training, Ginger Fett

No matter who I asked, the reasons for desiring subspace seem to align. It’s usually to get away from everyday life. To let go of control. To know that the Dom/Domme is completely in charge and that you have nothing whatsoever to worry about. It’s complete freedom from making decisions and finding reasons for self-judgment.

Vacationing into subspace is about being free to explore reality from an altered perspective where the mundane simply doesn’t exist.

Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating. Follow her at siennasaintcyr.wordpress.com or on Twitter @siennasaintcyr.
© filipobr / Dollar Photo Club

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