In part one we explained how self-control and curiosity were important qualities for dominants. And, in part two, Fetish.com examines the other qualities a kinky dom needs to have to make the most of thier sub-dom kink play.


In a dominant-submissive relationship, trust and respect of both parties is built up over time. In this way, it's crucial that the perfect dominant listens to the submissive, in order to understand better what is important to them and hear their viewpoint on the relationship.

The submissive will often be able to offer valuable insight into what they feel they need/want from the dominant. Again, as mentioned in part one, stalwartness is key here; the dominant needs to keep the overall control in the relationship while allowing the submissive to express their standpoint, whether this is taken into account or not.

 

Strong self-awareness

It goes without saying then that a perfect dominant should have a strong sense of self-awareness, such that they know what is important to them. It may be that they learn this along the way, but they should remain honest and true to this, and guide the submissive accordingly.

It would be dishonest, and not harbor a relationship of trust, for the dominant to sacrifice what is vital to him/her for the perceived benefit of the submissive. While such an arrangement may work on a temporary time scale, it would be sure to fail in the long-term.

In terms of the dominant-submissive relationship being perceived as a journey, a perfect dominant would do well to exhibit patience, thereby giving the submissive room to develop with the continued guidance of the dominant.

 

Understand and care for your sub

In summary then, for a perfect dominant to progress along the path to being a perfect dominant for his/her chosen submissive(s), they must be aware of their own nature and stay true to this, while having a genuine interest in the nature of their submissive(s). It could be said that a perfect dominant would understand more about their submissive's nature than the submissive themselves.

However, assuming that a perfect dominant would possess a natural dominance, know their own mind and be comfortable with this, listen to and guide the submissive (patiently when appropriate) in an unerring and dependable manner, and have a better understanding of the submissive than would the submissive themselves, would this indeed be a 'perfect' dominant?

Is not part of the excitement of the dominant-submissive dynamic the unknown, the unpredictable nature of having a relationship with another human being, where both can develop and learn in ways they could not have conceived before they met each other?

A dominant should then perhaps not be too perfect in the sense of always getting everything right, but rather be amenable to the changing nature of such a relationship by being open and aware of the submissive as an individual and embracing this while maintaining the control in the relationship.

Essentially, one important quality in achieving this, aside from the above, is truly caring about the development of the submissive, providing that this coincides with the dominant's own desires.

 

Is there such a thing as a perfect dominant?

Whether or not there is such a thing as a perfect dominant is again a very individualistic question. Some submissives may feel they have found their perfect dominant. Indeed, some dominants may believe themselves to be the 'perfect' dominant. This may be the case for one or both partners for a short while, or for eternity. In many ways it is the same question as is it possible to find one's 'perfect' match in life in general, dominant or otherwise?

Perhaps it's more realistic to say that one finds the best-matched person to oneself, be that in a dominant-submissive relationship or not, and that flexibility to grow and change in this relationship relative to one another as well as external inputs is key to maintaining its success.

 

Do you have a Dom-sub relationship? Wants makes a perfect dominant for you? If you're the dom kind, do you agree with our list? Let us know your thoughts in the comments. Not a Fetish.com member yet? We want you to be part of our kinkster community! Sign up for free.
 

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[…] What makes a perfect dominant? (part 2/2) […]

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