First a bit about Mr. Galen Fous. He's a proper name when it comes to kink-positive therapy. As a leading sex educator and fetish sex advisor, he's spent years researching and developing relationships with his clients and other kinksters. With this information, he hopes to help us define who we are as kinksters, fetishists and those a bit outside-of-the-vanilla box.
Through his various independent studies, he came up with the term 'fetishsexuality'. It's something he defines more in his book so you'll have to check it out for yourself The world of sex therapy is small and kink-positive is even smaller. Therapists who support their clients in discovering what their kinks are and how to integrate them into a healthy, happy lifestyle is what Galen Fous is working to achieve.
Galen has appeared at countless conferences, workshops and podcasts to discuss the topic of fetishsexuality and how it plays into kink-positive therapy. He's also taught at universities and has a private therapy practice. One of his most accessible tools is a survey he developed called the Personal Erotic Myth survey or PEM, which is available on his website for free. It contributes to his research and hopefully will help you delv a little deeper into your own kinks.
He is also the creator of this fantastic contraption. Need somewhere to hang out for awhile?
Authored by Galen Fous M.T.P. DYK is a wonderfully written book, especially for those of you who feel like you’re not really sure about your kink. I'd expected something completely different, though. What I expected was some sort of guide in the great ocean of kinks, breaking them down and analyzing them. What it actually is, is some sort of relationship guide directed to kinksters. He calls us kinksters fetishsexual and claims that it’s a sexual orientation just like being hetero or gay. I can definitely relate to that. I would myself call fetish and kink a sexual orientation. A lot of the book is about people he has met through sessions and their journeys to find sexual self-expression.
It was extremely interesting and informative and made me look at fetish and kink in a completely different point of view. The fact is that there are many people out there who bury their kinks deep down. They barely understand what it means to themselves. He describes both males and females that are so afraid of being judged based on of their kinks. They bury their sexual dreams so deep and his job is to help them unwrap it.
As for myself, I am very aware of my kinks so on that aspect I didn’t get much new information. What I did learn and what I’m going to use in my personal relationship is to move slowly towards TPE. And to be completely honest with what I feel during that journey. So in a way it did help me decode my kink. TPE is also described in his book. TPE stands for Total Power Exchange. He explains what that means to put your life into someone else's hands in this way. For example, if my fiancé tells me to do something I need to do it or I’ll get punished. And that can be everything from sexual activities to financial choices which my fiancé thinks are good for me.
I thought it was very educational and had some clear and valid points. In general, the people who will really benefit from this book are people who aren't used to being able to bed open about their kinks. A lot of the things he brings up are not news for me, personally. But in my honest opinion books like these are definitely needed. Books that explain these taboo subjects in an easy, fun and understandable way.
Degradation is built on trust, BDSM requires romance and love. Degradation in this situation is when the sub is just submitting to her/his Dom/Domme.
What he’s referring to here is the crooked image of BDSM as some sort of uncompassionate, cold relationship. He points out that aftercare, and its importance is the key to developing healthy kinky relationships. It's this combination of communication, aftercare and trust that create the strong bonds you get with the person you’re in a BDSM relationship with.
Since degradation is one of my favorite kinks, I completely love showing my submission to my Dom. After I read about in his book about what most people don’t understand about kink I found relief in the fact that I wasn't alone in this. How I’ve tried to make people understand my lifestyle. BDSM is, when practiced truly and correctly, a very loving relationship with a lot of trust and Galen explains it thoroughly in DYK.
He tells the readers to claim their ”sexual birthright” and be who they are, fetishsexuals. We should not be embarrassed about who we are. Fetishes and kinks are completely natural and healthy. They only become unhealthy when practiced incorrectly or are suppressed.
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