Alpha, Primal or Furry - What's in a BDSM Wolf Pack?

Many people know what a furry is outside of the kink and fetish scene. But some furries also identify as wolves. We asked writer Sienna Saint-Cyr to take a look at this particular kind of fetish family and shares her insights on the BDSM wolf pack.

The power of the pack

A BDSM wolf pack is a group of people that either identity as wolves or like to act out wolf-like behaviour with their pack (group). As with all kink and fetish families, the wolf pack / family can function in a variety of different ways.

Some wolf packs will have a full-time scenario where everyone lives together, and the Alpha runs the pack. Others may have pack members involved sexually with one another. Some have cubs as well, who may be allowed to take part in sexual acts, but they're usually young in behaviour and need guidance or protection. The cub may also receive reprimand if they’ve behaved poorly.

Pack sex and playtime rituals

Some wolf pack members engaging in sexual acts prefer to wear fursuits explicitly designed for having sex. Others like a furry tail anal plug to signify playtime. While some only want to howl and allow their inner BDSM wolf to surface. All of this depends on the individuals in the wolf pack. Dynamics vary widely - including a preference to ‘taming’ which means a collar and name tag. To gain a bit more insight, I spoke with my submissive Minka Krasiva Hole about her experience in a BDSM wolf pack.

Can you tell me about what your wolf pack was like and why it called to you?

“As a submissive, I definitely don't consider myself an Alpha, but because of how long I had to take care of myself, I learned to act like one. When I had an Alpha in my life, it took some getting used to. Eventually, I fell into line as his sub. It seemed like the perfect fit for me. We had our small pack and spent time growing our trust and bonds and were fiercely loyal to each other. The pack gave me a sense of security and love. Even though we separated, I did grow to realise how important a pack is to me, and how my close friends and family are my pack.”

What would your ideal wolf pack scenario be like for you? Would you all live together? Be involved? How would the hierarchy look?

“I never plan on being the Alpha, but I will probably always be a mate of the Alpha as I am a powerful submissive and like a bit of control. My ideal pack doesn't have a particular size, as I tend to grow to love anyone I get close to. But there would be an inner ring of the people closest to me who don't fall under the Alpha, but outside of the hierarchy.

These are the honorary pack members that I would fight to the death to protect, and I know they would do the same for me. The pack would be very open and not stick to ‘the one mate for life rule’ as I feel people have too much love to limit themselves to just one other person.

I may live with my Alpha, but I don't think I would live with my entire pack. We would hang out often, but would not need to be around each other at all times as we would all have our own duties to attend to. Every member would work together to make sure the pack stayed strong and protected and loved.”

A BDSM wolf sometimes uses a tail butt plug to signal playtime. Image: via Shutterstock.com 

BDSM wolf behaviour: Let your wolf be wild or tame?

Wolves are wild. Many I know tend to lean toward primal experiences. Howling, hunting for consenting prey, they tend to work well in groups. Actions indicative of wolf behaviour can be smoking hot. For example, biting the neck from behind. Growling. Whimpering. Whining. Rougher, more animalistic sex. The list goes on as each wolf pack is their own.

Many tamer wolves prefer to be paraded around on a leash because they’re tame. For others, a leash doesn’t change the inner nature of the wolf, but an Alpha leashing a wolf submissive can elevate this to humiliation. From my personal experience, I have seen a lot of crossover between those that identify as dogs/pups and wolves/cubs. Having a dog bed or kennel around can serve as a reward or potential punishment.

Hierarchy: Who's on top?

Since wolf packs often operate in a hierarchy (with the Alpha at the top), this allows for different levels of dominance and control. The wolf at the bottom may have to obey all the wolves above, while the wolf directly down from the Alpha will only obey the Alpha. Some Alphas can be very possessive. While they may still allow play with other wolves or humans outside of the pack, the pack often comes first, and the Alpha may want permission before outside acts take place. This works differently than in other poly families, where talking about new partners may occur, but permission isn’t necessarily required.

The most important thing to remember about any kink or fetish family is that each is unique. What works for some might not for others. And while some wolves want a lighthearted form of engagement and play, others crave the Alpha having complete control. Honouring pack members’ needs is vital to happy pack living.

Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating. 

Are you in a wolf pack or want to learn more about them? Did you learn something new about being a BDSM wolf? Share your thoughts in the Fetish.com forum. 

Cover image: Joped via Flickr.com CC BY 2.0 license