One is tasty, but two… delicious. Triad play is something that many fantasize about, but balancing the attention given to more than one partner is trickier than many realize. Whether you’re part of a kinky scene or playing in a more sexual manner, everyone needs equal time. So how do we go about this?
There are so many hot ways to play.
The first time I took part in a triad scene my Dom sat me in a chair, tied me down, and made me watch him beat on his slave. He did lovely things like spank her, and tell her to look at me, then tell me to watch her. He’d kiss her, pinch a nipple or two, then finally told her to come. Being that I’m a voyeur, just that alone would have been fantastic. But he didn’t stop there. Next, he put me on the cross and had his slave watch. Taking turns is one way to balance triad play.
Another great way to involve everyone is to have one submissive perform an act on the other. Or the Dominant might fuck one sub from behind and have that sub perform oral on the second submissive. As a Domme, when I play with more than one person, I often like to instruct them to do things to one another while I simply watch.
Balancing time isn’t always easy, and I find that this is an area that falls in the responsibility of the Dominant. So Dom/Dommes, make sure you’re paying attention! Everyone needs equal time unless part of the play involves some form of humiliation by withholding attention. But that play has a purpose and is therefore, still involving all parties.
Submissives have a level of responsibility in triad scenes as well. Though it may not be up to a sub to balance the time, it is up to the sub to make sure they are being fair to the person in play. An example of this is if one submissive is dropped into subspace and is cuffed to the cross—getting a nice little spanking—if time starts to feel unbalanced, running off in tears isn’t helpful. The Dominant can’t leave one sub in that state to run after another. The better way to handle this situation is to gently get the Dominant’s attention and let him or her know what’s going on.
Triad play is all about being present in the moment, being fair, and having a higher level of responsibility.
While it can be one of the best experiences, it can also end in a tidal wave of negative emotions if we aren’t careful. The best way to have fun is by remembering that just like we need balance between two partners, three to a scene is no different. Ignoring one party will only end in hurt feelings. So play fair, play hard, and have fun!
Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating. Follow her on her website or on Twitter @siennasaintcyr.