From an early age, Vanessa loved being controlled. She became fascinated by hypnosis, influenced by scenes from films such as The Jungle Book. At first, she wasn’t sure if this was a feeling only she had, and it wasn’t until she turned 21 that she truly found what she was looking for.
After a variety of relationships, Vanessa was unsure of her sexuality. By the time she reached 23, she wasn’t even sure what she was looking for in a partner. Her desire to dig deeper into a hypnosis fetish and the kink community led her to the internet. She began writing stories about her experiences as she found like-minded individuals.
“I met play partners online who were into the same things as me," she says. "I didn't find physical intimacy, but at that time, I was more than satisfied. This period marked the end of any desire to pursue a vanilla relationship ever again, meaning that I've not had to 'come out' to partners about my fetishes."
One person Vanessa met lived only two hours away from her. “He was called "AmHypnotic" ("AH" for short), and he held a hypnosis workshop nearby," Vanessa explains. "I met him and his girlfriend and knew it was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. He said that on my 21st birthday we could visit a public BDSM dungeon together. And so we did.”
This experience changed Vanessa’s outlook on relationships, the hypnosis fetish and sex. Previously, she'd found it difficult to share her love for kink with partners.
“My first sexual experience was with my best female friend when we were 16," says Vanessa. "I identified as bisexual back then, while she identified as straight. She kind of just dumped me one day and we became friends with benefits," says Vanessa. "I didn't share my hypnosis fetish with her for a couple of years. But we both enjoyed many aspects of BDSM, so choking was part of our regular sex, as was power exchange. We both switched roles frequently in the relationship.
“My hypnosis fetish seemed off the table, fantasy-only material that I felt guilty for needing. I didn't have any orgasms in the relationship with my female partner because I didn't want to soil my thoughts with that kind of fantasy. So I faked much of my physical enjoyment. I enjoyed the intimacy and D/s dynamic, but sex did little for me, beyond the satisfaction of seeing my partner's pleasure."
Vanessa kept her desire to dive into hypnosis separate from her relationship at this point. A couple of years later, she began self- identifying as a homoflexible. Currently, Vanessa identifies as "somewhere" on the asexual spectrum, she says, adding that “penises squick me very hard and girl bits are 'meh'; what really gets me off is kink, not body parts.”
A vanilla relationship held no interest for Vanessa. Her previous attempts at experimenting with control and hypnosis left her feeling too embarrassed to ask a partner to participate in it with her. She believed that they were taking part only because she 'd encouraged it, rather than because they were both deriving pleasure from it. Along the way, Vanessa says, she began making friends with those interested in, and a part of, the BDSM community.
One individual, known as a “DaSade” was the facilitator of the space which Vanessa and AH were attending, and although much older than her, at 46, they often shared a friendly flirt. Then one day she witnessed him taking part in a predicament bondage scenario, and she immediately knew that she wanted to play with him also. And so she did. She quickly became absorbed in submitting to him in a variety of settings with rope, impact, endurance and consensual non-consent.
Today Vanessa is currently living with both DaSade and his wife after growing very close to them over the space of a year. She describes herself as “the switch in the middle: 24/7 his property and 24/7 her dominant.” She's thankful to DaSade for bringing out her new side and is now steering her focus to presenting on hypnosis fetishes at conferences and events across the US.
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© srvon / Dollar Photo Club and Denis Kadackii / Dollar Photo Club
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