What I look for in a Fetish Dating site.
I see a lot of fetish dating sites every day; I review them for a living. Like every other place I visit online, I want fetish dating sites to keep their promises, have excellent web design and help me stay safe by respecting my privacy. Not everyone wants to explain their dark side to friends and family or colleagues, so if I sign up to a new site and my private inbox suddenly becomes a free for all with messages from Russian Brides and Latino Teens, alarm bells are sure to go off.
I’m a straight female, and I don’t want links to the private photos of women who are (they say) interested in hooking up with me later. Not many online daters have a webpage set up with a load of sexy pics and are willing to dish the URL out randomly - so this type of spam is a good indicator that the site is likely to be scammy and they’ll have few genuine members. Instead it’ll be full of dead eyed escorts, bored cam workers and various other people making a living in the sex trade. Fair enough, but I’m not willing to pay for my naughties, so that puts me right off.
I think the main point of departure for good fetish dating sites is that they make you feel part of an alternative movement – not an outsider. You’ll find various organised get togethers on straight sites like Plenty of Fish
, but these are of limited use to POF’s client base because your average pub is a vanilla meet-up anyway. You can’t just arrive at your local in full rubber gear and hope to meet people like you, so quality sites like Fetlife
are above all geared towards promoting the kinky community in particular, by getting people together in a mutually respectful atmosphere.I love a hectic social meet-up section on a fetish dating site and also an attentively moderated forum that gets people chatting. You can learn so much from just hanging around a well maintained kinky community site and lurking until you can’t contain yourself anymore.
Let's talk -- icebreakers are key:
Communication is important to the BDSM lifestyle for all kinds of reasons – a healthy feeling of acceptance, gentle warnings and a chance to become part of the kinky community will always heighten your anticipation.
The term BDSM encompasses many categories, so I prefer fetish dating sites that include plenty of utility in their search functions. Sometimes it feels like you’re narrowing it down to practically two other people in the world, but this optimises your chances of getting it on with an ideal partner.
A user-friendly chat system is offered on any decent site, online one-to-ones are a secure way of spreading your wings and testing your limits, without the pressure of a face to face encounter.Sadly fetishists don’t share a hive mind, so reaching out to the kinky community en mass is often best done online where there’s plenty of choice and it stays impersonal initially. To get a perspective on a fetish dating site, check out the type of profile pictures on show, the forum discussions and how easy it is to navigate around – paying for top notch web design shows the owner takes their site seriously. The layout should include well written text, great images and minimal ads (which are labelled as such), along a side bar – no one likes click bait.If you can send out messages for free then send loads and wait for what comes back. I don’t want to spend money communicating with people who are never online or can’t be bothered to reply. Besides, I’ve found some of the best fetish dating sites in terms of content, members and privacy, are free, so in the world of fetish dating don’t assume you get what you pay for.
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