It saddens Brendan* to admit that he hasn't been on a date since last seeing Stacey* in late August. He's perused FetLife and even posted in a few discussion threads since then, but only stumbles upon people looking to hook up, explore specific fetishes for their first time, or have nude pictures delivered to their inbox.
For Brendan, the online world hasn't been the best meeting ground for fetish related romantic endeavors. With dwindling hope of having a meaningful sexual encounter before the new year, Brendan turns to an old place to play out an even older fantasy.
In late December, Brendan returns to an adult chat site he's been using on and off since high school. Online, he can be up front about his desires under the privacy of an anonymous pseudonym.
The volume on Brendan's laptop is turned down low so his roommates can't hear through his not-so-soundproof door. Brendan leans back against the headboard of his bed, naked but under the covers, since it's winter and heat is not a utility included in his apartment's rent.
“So you're into dominant women. What is it that you like having dominant women do to you?” The woman on screen seems comfortable in front of the blinking light on her computer, like she's done this before, and frequently. She is definitely older than Brendan, in her later 30's, it appears, which he doesn't mind in the least.
“Everything,” Brendan responds. The very first instance he can recall being turned on by a woman taking the lead was in the context of a porn he watched around the age of 14. It was pretty basic over all, but the woman was actively seducing the man, taking initiative on all fronts and there was really nothing left for the guy to do but follow.
It was the most erotic thing Brendan had witnessed up to that point in his life and remains his ultimate fantasy. “I really like it when women completely take control. I've been with enough people who were sort of dominant, or at least, acted dominant for my sake. But what really turns me on is when the woman is doing it for herself, when that's what gets her off, too.”
At this, the woman's grin widens. “You like being used by women? Like a toy?” Brendan feels himself harden underneath his blanket. “You can definitely say that.”
“Then I'm going to make you do something that really gets me off. I'm going to give you orders and you're to follow them, understood?”
Brendan's mouth goes dry. He is titillated by her directness, by her ability to switch from congenial to authoritative in a snap. “I'll do anything I can to please you.”
Brendan stares up at the tops of his thighs. His legs are up and over him, with his toes touching the pillow behind him on the bed. His hips are positioned up toward the ceiling, in a sort of half headstand.
The laptop has been moved to his side, creating a full body view of him in what yogis would refer to as “plow,” for the woman watching him via webcam, whose name he's come to learn is Cara*. “Are you close to coming?” she asks.
Brendan's neck is positioned in such a way that makes speaking quite a challenge. His voice comes out strained and somewhat muffled by his chest, which is practically in his mouth. “Uuuh, I was.”
“You still want to go through with this?” Cara asks.
“Absolutely.” He really does, and hopes he can.
“Then follow my instructions. I want you to start by flattening the palm of your non-dominant hand down against the bed. Use it as an anchor.” Check, Brendan thinks. He's been using both hands to do that since positioning himself here.
“Now I want you to use your other hand to jack yourself off.” At this last command Brendan wants to laugh. But on top of the fact that his diaphragm is upside down, it would be disrespectful to do so. He suppresses the urge, noting how hot it is that he has to do so, and wishes she was there in person for the added threat of possible punishment for being disrespectful.
Slowly, Brendan's right arm gravitates up. He wobbles, but steadies himself with his left hand as his right finds his member. He hopes the webcam is pushed far enough back so that Cara can't see how he's shriveled from the challenging physicality of this pose.
The thought of her eyes on him makes him nervous, and his nerves strangely begin to make him hard. He tries to crane his neck slightly and catch a glimpse at Cara on his laptop screen.
“DON'T turn your head. I told you, moving your neck in this position is an absolute no!” Cara raising her voice turns Brendan on to the point that he no longer needs to sneak a peak at her to get harder. Her sternness makes him tingle in a way he would not have imagined possible to experience in this posture. Slowly, careful not to rock himself off balance, he starts stroking himself.
“Good, now you're following directions.”
The satisfaction in Cara's words encourages him to continue. “Okay, I'm getting close again,” he tells her.
“Keep going. Tell me when you're almost there.”
Brendan begins to sweat from the physical exertion of holding himself in place while approaching orgasm. “I'm getting closer.”
“Now open your mouth and aim. Pay attention! Don't lose control or you'll get cum all over yourself.”
Shit. This is hotter than Brendan had imagined. He closes his eyes and pretends that Cara is on the bed with him, holding down his legs and forcing him to come in his own mouth for her viewing pleasure. Fuck.
In moments, Brendan's mouth is brimming with cum. He gulps it down quickly, before post coital descent subtracts from his arousal. While considering its flavor he loses physical concentration and topples over.
His eyes open to a screen void of Cara. In her cam window's place is a screenshot she sent of him in plow. The accompanying text reads, a souvenir ;). Brendan ogles the image of himself. He can't believe how readily he did that for the sake of getting another person off, and consequently, himself.
If he's willing to do something that extreme for the sake of sexual satisfaction online, why can't he take the equivalent of those risks in real life too? Because in real life you have a job, he reminds himself. There must be a way to have everything one wants without losing everything one already has, he thinks.
Have you ever eaten your own cum? Tell us in the comments below. To find out what happens next for Brendan, check out What others do in bed: Brendan, part III. And, if you're not already a member of Fetish.com, sign up below for free BDSM dating, Forum chat, and all the latest fetish news from our sex positive, kinky community.
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