It's essential to make sure that you've talked to the person you're meeting on the telephone, and also that you meet in a public place such as a restaurant, bar or café. This is for your mutual safety.
However, there's no reason why the public place should not be a fetish club, or a munch, if you want to get down and play. However, it's likely that you'll want to meet in a neutral location first so that you can make sure that you get on with your new potential fetish partner.
It's a constant gripe among fetishists that use online dating that people don't turn up. There are many fantasists who, promise the earth online, but in real life do not show up in the location suggested.
Sometimes there may be an excuse for this, but in most cases, this behaviour should not be tolerated. If you want to be taken seriously, you should turn up... and on time.
There's nothing worse than meeting someone on the scene who has no respect for boundaries. You should talk to your date about what the expectations are concerning dress and behaviour.
If you're meeting in a neutral, vanilla, location, do not turn up dressed in your full latex pony suit. Unless you've agreed on it beforehand, and are sure that the customers or staff may not react badly, it may be a bad idea to go down on your knees and start kissing your dominant’s boots in a local pizza restaurant.
By all means, have something alcoholic, but make sure that you don't get drunk, or act beyond your limits. This is good advice for any dating situation, but in fetish dating, it's worthwhile as it helps people to keep to their limits if they have not been drinking to excess.
You don’t need to be a chatterbox, but you do need to know how to keep a conversation running during a fetish date.
Don't make it all about the person’s fetish, or yours: you need to show an interest in the person that you're with, so ask about their interests and circumstances. Don't just focus purely on the kinky side of life.
You're on the date to find out about the other person, and if you are evasive or difficult, it makes it more unlikely that you will get on. Make sure you're open regarding your background and interests. This will ensure that the interaction flows smoothly and that you get the most out of your fetish dating.
Some fetishists take a tick-box approach to dating. They have a particular fetish in mind and will not deviate from exceptions.
For example, if you're a male dominant who has a fantasy about a milking machine administered by a dominatrix dressed up as a milkmaid, you may be described as narrow if you reject her own fantasy of milking you by hand in a latex nurses uniform.
You need to realise that you may not find a partner who shares the exact details of your fetish. Having said that, fetishes do evolve. Fetishes, like relationships, are organic.
One of the most important fetish dating tips is to admit that this is not working. If the date doesn't work out, or if your expectations are completely out of line, you may decide not to continue with the relationship.
If that's the case, you may want to clearly tell the other person that you do not want to continue with the scene. Be polite, but firm, so that there is no ambiguity involved.
If you do decide to embark on a fetish scene, make sure that you play together safely. Discuss limits in advance, make sure that you can easily free your partner from ropes or bondage, and do not play with a partner that you do not know or when intoxicated.
Fetish dating should be fun. Even if it does not result in you finding your long-term partner for fetish, you can make some great new friends and enjoy some new scenes.
Dating should not become the sole focus of your life: make sure that you have fun whatever you do. This will help you to become a more well-rounded and exciting person to be with, and a better person to date!
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