Valentine’s Day can cause stress for a lot of people. Having to worry about fancy dates, cards, flowers, gifts … it’s a lot for one day of celebrating the person(s) you love. There’s a lot of pressure all around. Whether you’re feeling it because you’re unsure what to get or where to take your lover. Maybe you don’t have the money to take someone out or buy gifts. If you’re without a date and feeling depressed and excluded, Valentine’s Day isn’t always a joy for folks and even when it is, shouldn’t we be celebrating Valentine's Day 365 days a year?
My partners and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day in a typical sense. We celebrate our partners and unique love all the time. Yes, we have Valentine’s Day 365 days a year!
This does not mean we have fancy dates daily or buy special gifts all the time. What it does mean is that we show our love and appreciation for one another on a daily basis. This love might look different depending on the circumstance and partner. Since my relationship with my husband is vastly different than the one with my Dom or my sub. But the base is the same… we celebrate our love all the time.
Sometimes gifts are given. Other times there’s weekend getaways or fancy restaurants. There are even times when I go out with all my partners, and sometimes their partners too! Because we all experience compersion, going out as a group is enjoyable to all involved. Though it can get rather awkward when you’re making reservations for two lovers at once and confusing the heck out of the staff!
Celebrating your love means holding gratitude in your heart all the time. Being grateful for your partner means you’ll go out of your way to do sweet things, to show that gratitude.
My husband still writes me love letters even after sixteen years of being together. He’ll get up with the kids and let me sleep in, then bring me coffee and breakfast. Or send me on a weekend trip when I’m feeling I need to get away. These things are far more loving than a dinner date and flowers, and they make me feel appreciated and loved.
I try to do similar things for my loves. Sometimes that means giving a massage or making their favorite meal. Other times it’s swallowing my pride and accepting that I need to grow in an area. Personal accountability and growth—especially when inspired by your partner—is one of the best ways to show our love. I’m not talking about changing for someone, but instead owning our mistakes and making changes so we don’t repeat them.
There are infinite ways to show your love and it doesn’t need to cost a penny or come one day a year. While Valentine’s Day has a mysterious history due to its many stories of origin, what is clear is that the day historically came from acts of everyday kindnesses and love. If the day was created based on a daily practice of love, why not celebrate our love for one another every day and in ways that make us happy? Love isn’t about a one-day a year bouquet of roses. It’s about the daily practice of the act of love.
Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating. Follow her on her website or on Twitter @siennasaintcyr.
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