What turns you on? If you’re getting to know someone—whether in person or online—this becomes a common question used to determine compatibility. The question seems simple enough. Sometimes it’s hair, other times a deep voice, maybe toned muscles, or a bubbly personality, but there’s a term that’s rapidly gaining popularity… sapiosexual.
Sapiosexual: The Intelligence Fetish
What is a sapiosexual?
A sapiosexual is a person turned on by intelligence. Yes, you read that right! Even if the type or area of intelligence varies.
This knowledge has circled several fandom communities and conventions for some time, though there wasn’t always a term for it
. Because of social media, this term is spreading fast. More and more people are listing themselves as sapiosexual on dating sites. For many of us, this is fantastic! Especially if both people are turned on by intelligent conversation.
One of the best ways I’ve found to date a fellow sapiosexual is to avoid small talk. If you’re in the beginning and getting to know one another, that’s fine for a limited amount of time. Or if you’re asking about someone’s day, that’s helpful too. However, comments on the weather or the latest winning baseball team aren’t likely to interest a sapiosexual. They could, but only if intelligent conversation is part of it.
For instance, if the local team recently did a massive fundraiser for Cerebral Palsy and you took part in that by organizing the event or even if you just found it inspirational and can share why you found it so, that leads to intelligent conversation. Or if you’re a researcher and are taking part in a study, or you’ve traveled and are worldly, talk about these things upfront. If you’re with a person that doesn’t enjoy this level of conversation or if your areas of expertise aren’t compatible, then it’s best to know on a first date and move on. Why date someone that isn’t compatible with your brand of intelligence?
Dumbing it down is never sexy
If you are higher on the scale of intelligence, please don’t make the mistake that so many of us have in the past… Don’t dumb yourself down for anyone. Being clever, astute, having intellect and wisdom, these are things that many of us crave and find so damn sexy. There is no need to hide who you are!
I find this more often with women than with men. Women tell me they worry that they’ll make someone feel stupid or bad if they show how intelligent they really are. This makes me so sad, mostly because I used to do it too.
The bottom line is that there are a lot of people in this world that find intelligent conversation sexy and a complete turn on. So use your skills and break lesser brains if you must! Because where one dull conversation ends, there are masses of wonderful, powerful, and hot conversations waiting to happen.
Remember, intelligence is the ability to acquire, understand, and use knowledge. Knowing that there are vast amounts of people turned on by this very ability means we should use it.
Please wave your sapiosexual flag high so that other sapiosexuals may find you!
Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating. Follow her on her website or on Twitter @siennasaintcyr.