Whether in public or private, humiliation is either super hot or hell no! Determining what it will be for someone else is no easy task. We asked Sienna Saint-Cyr to explore humiliation kink.
Different types of BDSM humiliation
There are so many forms of humiliation. As a sub, I make sure to state what I'm okay and not okay with. Generally, it's, "No kids around and don't do anything to get me arrested." Other than that, I'm open, which might get me into some humiliating trouble now that I've said this. Being put in my place does incredible things for me. When I'm called stupid, I laugh with such joy. It feels fantastic, but only coming from my Dom. If someone else said that to me, they'd likely get punched.
Trust and humiliation kink
There is a great deal of trust between my Dom and me. He spent months building that before dipping into the BDSM humiliation kink. By the time I submitted in person, he knew without a doubt that I'd love every second of him using me in front of his guests. It was so damn hot! And they sure had something to remember me by. His taking those steps, even asking me if I was ready to try some degrading play, made all the difference.
I use these same tactics when I take a subby girl out too. In one instance, I made a girl read one of my erotic stories aloud - in a restaurant! I first suggested that I might have her do that, then I watched her body language. I asked if she was ready for me to push her boundaries, and she said yes. So I instructed her to read it.
Of course, she didn't know that there was no one sitting in close enough range to hear her. All she knew was that I told her to read a story—one that made her think of me doing all those lovely and terrible things to her—and her obedience was hot for both of us. Something about those pink cheeks and that catch of the breath as the submissive chooses to move past discomfort and obey makes it such a fantastic form of play.
Escape plans are vital
Venturing down this road also means having a plan in case things go wrong. Even with all the preparation in the world, stuff happens. Words jab at us in ways that aren't always predictable, and subs need to know that they are safe if that occurs. They need to understand that the Dominant will comfort them and make everything better. Even a bad reaction can build more trust in a humiliation kink and end with success if handled correctly.
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Humiliation kink can be empowering for a sub.
Humiliation kink puts you in control
BDSM humiliation is powerful and hot because it forces me to move past things I wouldn't usually do. It gives me authority over words and experiences that have controlled me before this.
I love being called stupid now, but this wasn't always the case. Indeed people from my past used to call me that to bully and hurt me. But because my Dom often tells me how intelligent I am, I melt when he calls me stupid. In a good way. 'Little Stupid' is a term of endearment with him in our humiliation because I'm his 'Little Stupid.' Moreover, the term also lets me know my place under him and is an excellent reminder that even the simplest words evade me when I'm in subspace.
My Dom gave me power back over a word that was used to harm, and while this is just one little corner of what BDSM humiliation can offer, it's a huge one. One can apply this same tactic to just about anything we struggle with. The problem is always workable, whether it be words, body issues, or worthiness. Even if that means crawling around a party, purring and nuzzling guests.
Humiliation kink is not about harm
Humiliation shouldn't be about harming another person. It should serve as a tool to move the submissive forward or challenge them. Whether it's a full-time sub, a one-time play partner, a simple slap, or public branding, humiliation kink turns up the heat and pushes boundaries.
Coming through a scene with humiliation is so rewarding. After all, if a sub can handle hanging upside down, performing oral while getting a damn good beating, what can't they accomplish?
Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating.
What are your thoughts about humiliation kink? Is it something you fantasize about?
Share your thoughts about humiliation in the Fetish.com forum. -min.jpg.d759ff43bb6273e2929c9f19cbf9b454.jpg)
Images: via Shutterstock.com
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