Be you a kinky single novice, an adventurous couple, or a skill seeking triad; there comes a time when you're ready to switch from private BDSM escapades to public play parties. Zoë Tersche shows you how.

 

Meeting potential play partners

In-person connections are the best ones to make. Attractive user profiles can get a multitude of messages and online inquiries a day. Taking these interactions offline helps filter out the posers from the real players, allowing you to differentiate between the ones who are interested in playing, versus those only into sexting or receiving hot nudes. Meeting in real life is particularly important when it comes to matching kink compatibility, which can be difficult to measure screen-to-screen. Reading the vibe of a person in front of you is a more effective way to detect if their dominant side might mesh well with your submissive and vice-versa.

 

Earning their trust

As MTV's Catfish has proven, it's impossible to know the face behind a username before seeing it in person. Anyone can claim good intentions from behind the wall of the internet, but those intentions aren't put to the test until they're playing in public. It's more difficult to get away with malintent when more than one pair of eyes are on you.

 

BDSM safety first

Even if you already know and trust the person you'll be playing with, engaging in BDSM activities at public events is an additional step toward ensuring your own as well as your partner's safety. Apart from the obvious bonus of having witnesses present, there will also be some experienced players at your disposal to help if anything goes wrong. Some parties even have medical personnel on the premises, should they be needed. And what better a way to prove a mistake “won't happen again” then to turn to a seasoned practitioner for guidance?

 

Play parties for skill development

Kink can be complicated. Even the basest, most bare-bones power exchange requires a certain level of technique. The internet contains a wealth of resources including video tutorials, but live demos enable you to ask questions, practice, and receive feedback in real time. The often nurturing and supportive environment that many play parties offer is one conducive to learning new skills. While it's possible that all of your time at a play party may be devoted to a scene, it is more likely that you'll spend a chunk of that time socialising, walking around, and watching. People who play in public generally like being watched, and respectful audiences are usually welcome to witness unfolding scenes - this is a simple way to turn a voyeuristic excursion into an educational experience.

 

Learning what kinks you like

There are a lot of different kinks out there. Without the proper exposure, it's impossible to discover what might be pleasurable. Dungeon parties offer a smorgasbord of samplings. Sometimes, it takes seeing something executed to realise you'd like to be the recipient or instigator of that activity. And if you ask nicely once a scene has finished, you might even be able to experience it yourself. Never hesitate to say “I'm new to kink,” or, “I'm new to the scene.” People will respect your honesty and will be better equipped to guide you through a technique or sample if they know your experience level.

 

Taking your new BDSM skills back into the bedroom

If you're going to a party alone, you can later impress your partner(s) that stayed home with your new found finesse, or level up a scene with whoever accompanied you. Like anything else, rope, caning, general bondage, and all other BDSM skills take practice. Play parties make a great classroom, but before returning, make sure you do your fair share of homework back in bed.

Zoë Tersche is a New York-based writer focusing on fetish sexuality and the freedom of sexual expression. Follow her on Twitter @ZoeTersche 

Images by nHubbyOO and manos_simonides with CC BY 2.0 license

 

BDSM Forum | Fetish.com

 

 


YOU MAY ALSO LIKE

1 comment

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoticons maximum are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



Guest

Posted · Report

[…] key to making D/s work in and out of the bedroom is always going to be communication. You need to be able to tell your Dominant when you’re […]

Share this comment


Link to comment
Share on other sites

BDSM Magazine

Similar discussions