No, that's not a typo.


When I first admitted to my Dom that I was switchy girl, he asked me what time of Domme I was. It was pretty early on in our relationship, and I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. I thought I’d misheard him, and that he’d said ‘type of Domme’, but I was wrong. He had said time.


He told me he was a twelve o’clock Dom. As in, he doesn’t submit to anyone. He’s only on the top, above many other D’s that are at the ten or eleven o’clock.


This seemed an interesting way of looking at things, but I didn’t see the usefulness of referring to things that way until later. At that time, I was only about a six or seven o’clock Domme. I loved submitting but did occasionally top or dominate other girls as well.



Later, though, as I began seeing myself as a Domme that submitted to my Dom, I realized that I was actually pretty high up on the scale.


what-dom-are-you-2More like an eleven o’clock Domme. This came in handy because I realized that dominant side of me touches everything I do, even the non-kinky things. The moment I began seeing things in the clock/time scheme, I could instantly recognize a dominant that was above me or below me. Even if that person claimed to be an alpha, rather than a dominant. Then I knew how to behave in their presence. Or how to interact in cases outside of the kink community. It is extremely helpful.


Some of us only desire submitting, but no matter how submissive someone is everyone has things they’re passionate about. Which means that I have yet to find someone that would be considered a one o’clock dominant. A three yes, but I’ve not found lower. Even a highly submissive person will have areas that they don’t want to submit, or behave as a beta. He or she will want to project outward in that moment, with a more dominant and controlling energy.



So the clock system works amazingly well. It’s clear and easier to follow. No tricky math involved. Just a simple time of day.


As an eleven o’clock Domme, I submit to one person completely, because he’s higher on the clock. I can submit to people at my range, but it’s on a case by case basis. I might even be able to submit to a ten o’clock dominant, but that would have to be very playful, topping from the bottom sort of scene.


Overall, I find that by using the clock system to gauge people’s scale of dominance, it helps me find my place. By using this method, I know that if someone is throwing out a six o’clock, that I need to lead and not follow. This method allows for individuals to explain their dominance and submissiveness with one simple hour of the day.


Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating. Follow her at siennasaintcyr.wordpress.com or on Twitter @siennasaintcyr.


© George.M. / Dollar Photo Club

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[…] Being a dom isn’t always easy, people can feel a pressure to perform that quickly puts them off their moves and that’s no fun for anyone.  So how can a good sub make sure they get what they want, and so they get their domination fantasy fufilled? Not many people want to be disrespectful or hurtful towards their partner in real life – if they do then they are definitely not a keeper. A healthy attitude towards one another is vital and we all expect to be treated as an equal, but when a lot of your sex play involves kinky domination, it can seem unbalanced. A sub gives away power and control rather than having it snatched from them. They do it out of choice and with consent, because it turns them on and they love how it feels. If your partner is in any doubt, explain that, then put the whip in their hand and beg for a spanking. […]

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