Fetish.com is taking another look at FetLife. This FetLife review keeps you up-to-date on all the latest and greatest with the king of online kinky communities. Is it still on top or has FetLife bottomed out?

The FetLife Review: Still on Top or Bottoming Out?


Welcome to the ultimate Black Sheet Party! With more than 5 million kinksters, FetLife is undoubtedly one of the largest gender-bending communities in the world. So, whether you're just starting on the journey, an old hand, or prefer that hand over mouth, FetLife tries to bridge the gap between a social networking site and the hookup scene for those of us who prefer that untrodden road to be downright dirty.

Creating My Alter-Ego


To be honest, I wasn't expecting much from Fetlife. In fact, my expectations were lower than a bratty bottom on all fours. With the typical seedy black background that reeks of cheap sex, I was actually hesitant to enter my cellphone number which they use to verify you. I received the SMS and entered the verification code. I was relieved that the SMS did not have any weird links or say where it was from, just the code and nothing else.

Fetlife prides itself on not being indexed by search engines. It gives people the sense of (false) security that they can share their images and content freely. With this new method of registration, it provides a layer of security that wasn't there before.

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Still hesitant, I created my alter-ego. From the dropdown menu, I selected my gender, my sexual orientation, my role in other words what kind of gender-bending activities I am into, and how active I am. And that was it, my profile created and not a cent out of my pocket. That's right, registration is free and you can choose to give to the site if you want to. They'll even collar you with an "I Support Fetlife Badge," if you do. That's the spirit, deck them out and rein them in!

Going To Munch


Let me give you a lay of the land for this FetLife review. Upfront and centerfold is your newsfeed that suggests content that is best suited for you. There's a link to the most popular groups, the group in your area and a section dedicated to the most Kinky&Popular current content on FetLife. I'm not a fan of the black and red color scheme at all. I understand they use it because it is a popular color scheme in the industry, because of the risks and sexiness associated with it, but I think it degrades the social networking aspect to that of a third-rate porn site.

Just like Facebook, there's a status box where you can update your status. You can comment on another member's content, be it their writing or photo/video. Be aware that comments are public and once you post, it stays there forever. Comments cannot be deleted, you have been warned.

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On the top of the page are the self-explanatory tabs of Explore, Groups, Places, Events and More. On the side, there are various links pertaining to your profile and a stash file called "Stuff You Love".
Ready for action, I clicked the Explore tab.

How Many Clicks Does it Take Till You Get To the Centre of The…


Oh yeah! Loading titillating pictures of freaks just like me, I couldn't wait to get in on the action. But wait what is this? You can't search based on age, sex, and location? What kind of bait-and-switch foolery is this?
Hold on there buddy. FetLife does not facilitate a drive-by, hoot and wave kind of pickup. No, they want you to be social and stuff. No jerkoffs allowed here.

Become a Groupie for this FetLife review


To make any headway in Fetlife, join a group. Get to know the people there. Share a bit about yourself. Look up an event and go. The very nature of what we do behind closed doors requires absolute trust in our playmates. This is high-risk stuff, and we need safety. Kinksters need to know and trust you so that you can have some of that gender-bending fun together.

With over 100,000 groups you are bound to find a group that suits you and your lifestyle. They vary from asphyxiation to riggers and diaper play. There are groups whose focus is not sexual play and there are groups that push the boundaries. However, FetLife will enforce disciplinary measures (the no safe word kind) if you indulge in publicizing material related to underage persons, zoophilia, incest, necrophilia, or any scat fetishes. Save those five prohibitions, Bob's your uncle. Sorry not your uncle, your cousin, yeah your cousin. Cousins are fine…

Stuff Worth Orgasming Over & Fantastic Humorous Writing


So many sites take themselves so seriously, especially with hot-and-heavy subjects like dominatrices and whips and creampies and … Well, it's easy to just get down to business as so many of these sites do. Walloped with a good dose of humor, the site's writer is witty, naughty and the charming banter makes me, well aroused-happy… Judge not, want not.

A Security Bug Bounty Program


Nobody wants to be outed as a gender-bending freak unless they themselves want to declare it to the world. You need your privacy and you need your security. A year ago, FetLife introduced its security bug bounty program. The bounty ranges from $100 to over $500 depending on the severity of the issue found. It feels good to know that FetLife takes our security seriously.

Solid Community Guidelines


I love their community guidelines and FAQ page. They cover every aspect that a community like this will face including questions on stalking and fearing for your life. Too many sites pretend that these real-life issues do not occur. In fact, FetLife says that they have worked with law enforcement around the globe and not to worry about "outing" FetLife. Your life is at stake dammit, and you need to trust the police in your area.

They Give Back


My millennial heart just wants to melt every time I hear of corporates giving back. They openly donate to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, and Leather Archives and Museum.

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Closet For Improvement


Although FetLife is truly a gender-bender-fantasy-come-true, there are a couple of things missing from this site which need to be mentioned in our FetLife review:

  • Welcome Mail: A welcome mail in your Fetlife mailbox, with links explaining how the site works.

  • Guides: Any kind of guides explaining how to navigate the site.

  • About Page: The About page lacks information about Fetlife and its origins itself. I had to glean that info from around the web.

  • Lack of Support: You need to follow the staff and leave them a message if you have a problem. This is really my biggest area of concern. On John Baku, the founder's profile, it says that the fastest way to get hold of them is to send an email to the support@fetlife.com address. To date, I haven't received an email, and it has been two days. It is really disappointing that a vibrant community such as this one lacks the proper support structure. If safety is such a key feature, then support should be quick to respond.


The Afterglow of this FetLife review


It is often said that a woman doesn't need to climax. We love the foreplay, the buildup and if the release comes that's a hallelujah moment right there, but women are in it for the experience. FetLife offers too much good for me to be caught up in its lack of support. I give it a pleasantly satisfied 3.5 out of 5, spank you very much.

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@ErnestGreene Thanks for sharing your opinion. Did you have a specific bad encounter on FetLife or is it overall a bad experience? Why do FB groups work better for you?

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FetLife, or Trollhaven as I call it, is a cess pit of predators and posers. Management encourages the formation of cliques and mobs and allows unlimited personal attacks in unmoderated groups. It's full of dangerous imbeciles and particularly so for the new and inexperienced. FetLife symbolizes everything that's hopelessly busted about online BDSM and I wouldn't send anyone there other than to experience vicariously just how ugly things have gotten in the world of BDSM since it moved from real life to cyber-bullshit. There's better social networking to be had on FB, where they have some rules, than on a site that has never taken the safety or consent of its members seriously. There are hot pictures to be sure and I've met some fine people there by the purest accident, but overall it's a bad thing we'd be better off without.

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