Navigating dating sites and apps can be a minefield when you’re kinky. How can you find others into the same thing you are? For BDSM loving kinksters, BDSMdate.co.uk seems to be the possible solution to the problem. But how many oates of a kinky kind can you arrange on the site? In the spirit of serving our vision to be the most trusted BDSM and Fetish community, we asked Victoria Blisse (The Queen of Smut) to find out.


This article was originally published on 28th January 2016 and was updated on 3rd April 2019.
 

BDSMDate Overview | Dark and brooding

It’s obvious from the moment you log in that BDSMDate is not your run-of-the-mill dating site. From its dark and brooding look with a triskele logo in the left-hand corner, you know it's kink-friendly. BDSMDate is very traditional looking but completely free, however, does BDSMDate deliver what it promises?
 

BDSMDate Visual Appeal | Overwhelming?

There is only the desktop version of the website, no app but it is easy to navigate on a plain black background and all the actions listed along the top bar. It’s a little dated in its look, but you can find everything you want to very quickly, where some other sites can be a bit overwhelming, to begin with.

BDSMdate review screenshot
A look inside BDSMDate.
 

BDSMDate Navigation and User Experience | Easy to connect

Signing up is relatively simple, especially for me as a CIS gender woman, but you can only choose from male, female, couple and trans, which is quite restrictive. Also, you can only pick Dom, sub or switch as your orientation too, which shows the BDSM focus of this site, but even within BDSM, some people don’t identify as these particular labels.

The only fetishes to choose from are bondage spanking, pissing, torture, fetish, fisting, and scat which I can only imagine are the most popular fetishes searched. Unlike Fetish.com where you can choose from dozens of fetishes to add to your list, this is a little bit restrictive. However, if you’re very specifically looking for people into these fetishes, you know other people on the site are going to be as well.  Making it, in theory, easier to make a connection.

You have to put a zip/postcode in when you sign up, but it isn’t obvious if this is visible to others unless you read the terms and conditions page where it says it isn’t. It’s used only for your search parameters. Please note, the small box at the bottom of the sign-up page that is already ticked and says ‘show email address’ be sure to untick this if you don’t want your email address to be viewable by just anyone.


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Once you’ve signed in and set up your profile, you can add photos and a little bit about yourself, though you don’t have to do this to use the site, it’s recommended to get the most out of BDSMDate.

Your main point of contact is via the search. Use it to find people in your area (or further away, you can select anything up to 200 miles away) into the same things as you. You can also choose people based on their height and weight which I find a little distasteful as people are far more than just their stats. However, having lots of questions to answer means your answers are far more specific than on other sites.  

If you wonder what the ‘sponsoring’ box is all about, it is the way BDSMDate refers to if users expect to be paid or not. It’s a little bit of a confusing term for sex working, but it means you can filter in professionals such as dominatrices depending on your wants.

Although not the most scientific approach, I tried two searches, looking within a 20-mile radius firstly for men into spanking and got 137 responses. The same search for women brought up only 39, which seems to indicate there are more men on the site than women by quite a large margin. An advantage here is that you can message a user without jumping through any hoops at all.
 

BDSMDate Community Feel

From my perspective, there is no sense of community feel here. No live chat or forum to interact with others (both can be found at Fetish.com) and so all you have is profiles to browse and the ability to send messages.

As a female submissive, I got a lot of messages from men from all across the country. Most were relatively respectful, but a few were not. You can block users; there is a ‘block sender’ link in the top left corner on all messages. Click that, and the person is blocked. You can also report them via the help and contact centre if the message was harassing.

The help section has a limited number of answers to FAQ’s and gives you a contact form for contacting the site. I’m not sure how long it takes to receive a reply, as there is no indication of what to expect.
 

Is BDSMDate free to use?

BDSMDate is completely free with no upgrade options, that’s a refreshing change. It’s not weighed down with adverts either, so I’m not sure how they make their money (possibly there is a cost for signing up as a sex worker, but I can’t confirm this). BDSMDate does make it easy to use, and it's free of the annoying ‘upgrade your account’ spam that you get on so many other dating sites.

 

BDSMDate Review | Final thoughts

BDSMDate will appeal to those kinksters who enjoy a more traditional dating format and is definitely tailored to the BDSM community but has its drawbacks. You can’t interact with anyone other than via message, and the number of people on the site isn’t particularly high. However, you are assured that everyone there is into BDSM too.

If you want BDSM dating with a community feel, check out the Fetish.com forum filled with kinksters discussing every topic under the kinky sun - and check out the magazine for articles on BDSM for everyone from beginners to those well practised.


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Have you tried BDSMDate? Do you agree with our review? Tell us in the comments below. Spanks for reading!
 

BDSMDate review scorecard

Cover image released from Shutterstock.com

 


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Guest

Posted

Bdsmdate.com I true scam.... The notifications are bogus, the profiles are fixed, the pictures are recycled. When I sent a negative comment to feedback comment, that was last notification, flirt, comment, or like... The real red flag, my bank declined purchase when I tried to sign up... When I called to give my ok, they told me it was for a London telemarketer. A TELEMARKETER.... All conversations stopped when I asked for real time pics, wonder why? Because, woman on pic wasn't one sending them... Scam. Bogus... Say your money..

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Posted

Scam

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Posted

That's me out as well then. I got a different strategy tried on. It's gone from computer chat to- 'I need you to sign up to another website so we can fill you out a profile'. Well i've got a profile already, a free one, I dont need an additional paid one. What a load of shite. Anyways fobbed her off for now with 'i need to hunt for my credit card and i cant pay by mobile because my phone is shit.' This has given me time to do all of 2mins research to find out about this. She's getting back in touch at lunchtime. I'm gonna wind her (or him, i could after all be talking to an obese, moo moo wearing sweatyballs) up until the penny drops. It seems the internet is slowly making a troll out of me :-( Oh, the other site was BDSM.com so i'd avoid that one as well.

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Posted

I am also on this site and have had nothing but bad experiences. You start talking to a woman that looks hot, and says they are looking for this or that. They are always happy to reply then they start asking you to prove your loyalty, and obedience, then when you think things are going great they ask for sums if money ranging up from £100 for equipment for your date, the accounts and ways of paying fircthiscequipment just looks dodgy as fuck, and it all feels like a scam. It's happened with 4 different women, I personally think that it's a fake website setup to scam innocent fools out if their money. Luckily I'm not a moron and I won't pay any money out until I know you are real. Heads up people ask for verification: a phone convo, a picture with a sign and date on, various options. I for 1 am done with it.

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