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Cassie34

Why are we who we are..?

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Posted

Is it to do with how we have been brought up...or is it to do with what we experienced at a young age...or what we witnessed ....No matter who we are....something must of had an influence . For me..I have mentioned it in some of my previous posts....all it takes is one memorable event, an experience,  to have a major  influence as to what direction ones life takes...Is one more likely to be influenced at a young age or when one is older and can choose or decide  whether one wants to explore something which for whatever reason has an attraction. Whichever way you look at it..I do not think one can deny that something in ones past has had an influence...What do members think , can you remember any particular experience etc...that has led you to become who you are..?

Cassie.

Posted

Just a quick note to remember the guidelines - keep precise ages out of conversation as anything pre-18 will have to be deleted!  

 

 Cheers :) 

Posted

Would you like me to re edit my post..happy to do so..Cassie

Posted

I do understand the guidelines...but sometimes the most influential times in our lives happen when we are below the age of consent..!...in most cases it is not our fault...but I really do feel that members should be allowed to say what has played a major part in how a member has  struggled to cope and understand why I am who I am..!.......Quite often...what affects a member happens at a young age....It is a fact of life.!..and one should not be censored for admitting the truth..!..I would imagine that to have an outlet for whatever one went through...even below the age of consent...would be of such great benefit to members.!...How many members keep everything bottled up..!...Looking for a way to release all the pent up anger...frustration that one has had to live with...This website has so much going for it...Let members express what has influenced who they have become...what they love...Being Kinky does NOT start at the age of consent..!....Cassie

TerryinSuffolk
Posted

Shame of my appearance compounded by bullie's ignorance and a narcissistic father led to withdrawing from life and isolating myself. Later in life feeling low self worth and not believing anyone will accept me. Wanting to be accepted and belong, friendship, relationship, love. Do they exist, how will I know if I don't try and take risks. Suppressing feelings and desires like my interest in bdsm. I joined this website but will I take it further and meet people or will I stay in my safe place. Will people accept me as I am with all my flaws or will I continue to believe I am not worthy. Are there people who are kind, compassionate and do not judge? Can I change, will I change? When will I accept myself and believe I am good enough and that people would be interested in getting to know me. My childhood experiences and influences from people like my father and people that can be so cruel and ignorant still impact my beliefs and life today.

Posted

It is so sad to read your post...but I hope that your honesty will and my post will also change how the moderators react to my original post..!It is so important to be able to admit what has affected ones life...no matter how young....I do understand that there has to be some sort of censorship in how a member describes what one went through...but just to be able to admit that  something from an age before the age of consent is such a big step forward ...all it can do is help members...I really hope they will think of a way to allow members to be more open without crossing the boundaries of what is acceptable..!.....Cassie

Carnelian2
Posted

I have had a fairly stable upbringing with loving parents. My first memories of having an interest in this was when I picked up one of my older brother’s magazines and saw photos of women in bondage. Then later, I became interested in fetish clothing. 

I think, to a certain extent, we try to explain everything, there has to be a reason for everything. Why do people drink too much? Why are you into kink? ... Why do you like pastel colours?

The most important thing, is to come to terms with and accept who you are. That in itself is a tall order for many people. 

It took me 20+ years to get in a position, where I could explore this side of myself. There was always an urge, sometimes destructive for my relationships and marriage, but as a father with daughters, there were also other things that made up for it. I have now come out of another long marriage, again vanilla but with good sides to it, so I suppose, I am still trying to find the balance that fits me. 

I would love a relationship with D/s as an integral part, but that does not have to be at the expense of companionship and being there for one another, no matter the role.

Posted
18 hours ago, Cassie34 said:

I do understand the guidelines...but sometimes the most influential times in our lives happen when we are below the age of consent..!...in most cases it is not our fault...but I really do feel that members should be allowed to say what has played a major part in how a member has  struggled to cope and understand why I am who I am..!.......Quite often...what affects a member happens at a young age....It is a fact of life.!..and one should not be censored for admitting the truth..!..I would imagine that to have an outlet for whatever one went through...even below the age of consent...would be of such great benefit to members.!...How many members keep everything bottled up..!...Looking for a way to release all the pent up anger...frustration that one has had to live with...This website has so much going for it...Let members express what has influenced who they have become...what they love...Being Kinky does NOT start at the age of consent..!....Cassie

 

Experiences can be mentioned as long as no age is mentioned. It is the rules, not done to stop anyone expressing themselves but is to keep us all legally above board and such. 

Life isn't black and white but for the purpose of posting online, we've got to be above board in everything, I'm sure you understand. So there's no wiggle room on this rule :) 

 

If you want to edit you can, but my comment probably is enough for people reading through. Thanks!

 

 

Posted

What I will mention is that there is a difference between giving personal details of what one went through at a young age and admitting that one did have or had no choice but to be subjected to practises that at such a young age cannot be justified in any way.!..My point is that just to be able to admit that one had life changing experiences at a young age...is not a reason to stop members admitting something so personal that has had such a serious effect on ones life..!...I do agree that details should NOT be allowed but , what should be allowed is being able to say...Yes I am having to live with past memories..etc..!...What one goes through ..can happen at any age.More often or not...at a young age...one has no understanding ....how one feels at the time of an experience changes how and what one will eventually have a preference for...!.Any experience at such a young age can have such a dramatic effect as to how one copes on in later life with what one has been exposed to at a young age..Cassie

Posted

This might be of interest to other members....Is what one is allowed to post either s a topic or a comment subject to the website rules of etiquette or what is legally allowed ..?...Cassie

Posted

I understand precisely what you're saying but the guidelines are there for a reason - many reasons in fact- to help this community run smoothly. The guidelines cover a mixture of legal and etiquette rules, some things have to be and others are in there to make sure we're all treating everyone with the respect we all deserve. 

And lets get back to the discussion in hand (or I'll have to warn myself for going off topic!!!) 

 

I believe every experience you has shapes you in some way, it's what makes life so interesting. 

 

 

Posted

How would you tell yourself off..!..is a really interesting thought...would it be a physical or mental punishment..!....I am sure you could liven up this website about discussions about how you would punish yourself from straying from the original  post...But..yes..I totally agree with your last comment..!..Have fun thinking about how to answer my cheeky question..Cassie

Charmane
Posted
I like your comment when i was young i loved watching what the girls were wearing at school i use to fantazise about it and would love to wear a skirt etc this is why i love cdx mmmm
Posted

You know what..I still do...not young girls , but grown up women.  , wishing I could look and feel like they do..!.....Cassie

Charmane
Posted

Hiyar cassie i do that as well if i see a woman  in a tight mini or tights stockings and heels i dress up like it and it makes me horney mmmm x

Posted

For me, submission is a release for my day to day stress. The rare time i do get to have that Kind of fun, my responcabilities and the expectations of people around me are gone. The only thing that matters is that one man looking down at me on my knees telling me that i have been good or bad.

but that first time i had that release when i was 21 or so was the first time i knew true peace in my life with no conflics or stress to spoil the moment


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