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Self care

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A lovely new friend on here has advised I ask for info and help on self care x any advice and guidance would be appreciated thank you x


This article may be of help, it's about giving yourself aftercare after a scene: 

A lot of the emotional/no physical stuff can translate to self care when play hasn't been involved too.  I know our amazing members will have lots of fantastic advice for you too. 


To be honest I'm only okay with the concept of self care when your playing on your own....however I do expect partners to care for each other.


I have fundamental First Aid knowledge, but to be fair it's hard to help with knowing what sort of issues you want to take care off or avoid.

You can ask here for everybody to learn or privately.

Hello, self care can be administered in so many ways and I advocate to others and I should/ do try to take on board advice myself. I have no doubt as a submissive that you are likely to be a success woman who attends to others in her life be it in work/ home- or both!! Time afforded for ourselves is so rare therefore making space and time to indulge yourself needs to be placed higher up the scale of priortities. Things I have been promising myself but yet to do: Have a professional massage/ pedicure/ manicure/ holistic therapy treatment Go swimming Go to an exercise class Be a lady who lunches Write in a journal Have a coffee out and read a book Meditate Tidy the corner in your home that has been annoying you!! Recently I: Went to the hairdresser...... This trip was a big deal for me as I very rarely put myself first.... and you know what it felt fantastic , Sir was also very encouraging- as always- and I am even thinking about the next time I administer care to myself... Looking after yourself makes you feel great, it’s time away for you to think/ reflect and realise how wonderful you are and leave everything else behind for a while. Let me know what you decide to do!! I would love some more examples of self care as I would love to explore this more x

Some other ideas for self care to help relax in the home after a good session are things like running a nice hot bath and adding bath salts or using bath bombs with flower extracts that help to soothe the skin.

For skin soothing before a good bath then essential oils are a good way to go or using aloe vera oils and balms as they help to reduce redness and swelling.

Some submissive can find microwavable wheat bags and heat pads good therapy for easing pain and warming up tense or strained muscles from stress positions.

Far-infra red sauna blankets are another way to give yourself a good detox and bit of intense heat therapy that is very beneficial and soothing and the infra red energy waves are good at speeding up the healing process for welts and sore muscles.

Another easy way to treat yourself if you enjoy takeaway food it to order a nice take-away and save you going to the trouble of preparing, cooking and washing up a whole host of evening meal pots and pans. Accompanying this with a good wine, spirit or beer and then following this up with some chocolate or sweet treat can really make for a great night in.

Another good source of self care and pampering is to purchase a good guided meditation CD which you could either use in conjunction with the hot bath and bath salts or simply laying on the sofa or bed to relax to and go on a fun inner or outer journey.

Scented candles and scent diffusers of various types can also help to create a great and relaxing atmosphere. 

Another good form of aftercare that is little mentioned is writing. Many of us find writing to be a relaxing and healing creative outlet and doing some creative writing or writing up a journal of your experiences can be very therapeutic for many submissives.

If you are more creatively inclined then drawing, painting or sculpting could replace wiring and be a good outlet for any stress, anxiety or tension that you may be carrying as well as being a very relaxing way to do something just for yourself.  


This is an interesting subject and again i love the fact that stuff on here opens up my eyes / mind to different aspects of life and the many ways different people do things.

So for me (personally) -0 self care is a lot about the mental side - for someone with a natural lack of awareness (as to emotional intelligence ) - i learn and gain  a lot from  other peoples 'experiences' - when  i understand this or accept it - it can actually help me with my own acceptance and understanding of tings that maybe I wouldn't otherwise.  So self care in as much as it makes me more understanding of myself  and of the world around me.

That maybe a bit of a ramble but I thing the gist of it makes sense.


MUSIC - life saver for me.  Played such a big part in my life growing up and still lives with me today.  I can get lost in music and it toally soothes my soul - not so much pampering maybe but a great form of internal relaxation.

Youtube is a great friend sometimes as is my massive collection of vinyl (in the loft) and CDs - as for playlists  ;)

Just thinking about it has me relaxed.


Loving washing a woman's hair and giving a scalp massage, it's aftercare for two.