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Fatguy4you

Sub or Dom and how to know?

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Posted

So recently I've been wondering whether I am naturally submissive or dominant. Im not exactly sure how to tell. Sometimes I feel like just using someone and then the next day I feel like the person that wants to be used haha. I feel like I lean a bit more to the submissive side but then somtimes I feel that I want to be very dominant but just have some confidence issues.

 

So I guess what I'm asking is how everyone here discovered or is discovering what and who they are/want to be relative to this site

Posted
I always thought I was a submissive but then started to doubt. I tried switch but I actually really struggle with being dominant. So just by trying both I found that I was more submissive.
Posted
Nothing wrong with being a switch, after all variety os the spice of life. A lot of people fit into this description to some degree. Just means your options are open
Posted
They say (and I have no idea who they are or how true this may be) that every switch is 10% of one and 90% of the other. So I guess you could look at a period of time and see how many times you really enjoyed being dominant and how many submissive. Also would be interesting to note whether that depended entirely on your mood or the opportunity for play. For example, if your dominant play partner had more time to devote to you as a sub than you did to your sub as a dom. Still, very interesting thing being able to switch... I, for one, can't do it. Best of luck
PatientTraveller
Posted

I'd simply explore both sides and consider moods as SirArtu suggests, possibly extend this to what's happening in your private, personal and professional life, after all we are influenced by the external as well as the internal, after all we all have limits as to how much energy we have individually and what differences in what it takes to recharge.

Personally, I have tried taking a holiday from being a Dominant and tried being a submissive, didn't work. Yet, in trying I learned more about myself and helped define my own perspective of my own Dominance. For me, I found out that I enjoyed some of the softer elements in life, relationships and discovered that I enjoyed an artistic and romantic element in BDSM...we're all on or own journey, some destinations are similar, but there not all the same.

There isn't anything wrong with being one or the other fully or partially, just explore and remain open, there is not define mould. 

Simply explore and enjoy your journey.

Mrchristopher70
Posted
4 hours ago, PatientTraveller said:

I'd simply explore both sides and consider moods as SirArtu suggests, possibly extend this to what's happening in your private, personal and professional life, after all we are influenced by the external as well as the internal, after all we all have limits as to how much energy we have individually and what differences in what it takes to recharge.

Personally, I have tried taking a holiday from being a Dominant and tried being a submissive, didn't work. Yet, in trying I learned more about myself and helped define my own perspective of my own Dominance. For me, I found out that I enjoyed some of the softer elements in life, relationships and discovered that I enjoyed an artistic and romantic element in BDSM...we're all on or own journey, some destinations are similar, but there not all the same.

There isn't anything wrong with being one or the other fully or partially, just explore and remain open, there is not define mould. 

Simply explore and enjoy your journey.

Well it's really good to hear another Dom who tried the sub perspective I had a mentor a good few years ago who suggested the same and i hated every second and found it incredibly difficult but it did serve it's purpose and give me a insight into the sub perspective..


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