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MisterK

Safe words in BDSM

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Posted

So I've been thinking about expanding the use of safe words, rather than just a stop word. I think introducing two more would be handy:

 

A "go" word: if your not 24/7 or meeting for a hook up it can be useful to have a "yes please let's get it on" or "I'm fucking with you for sexy responses". Can save some arguments, stop overstepping of boundaries and if you pick your words right you don't have to break the fantasy to be super blunt.

 

A "don't stop but dial it back a bit" word. Pretty much as is, getting too rough but still good.

 

Anyone use things like this? or have other safe word scenarios you would recommend?

  • Like 1
Posted

Lots of people in the scene use the traffic light system, green is all go, perfectly fine. Yellow/amber is dial it down and red is out and out stop. 

Of course, there needs to be communication there still. Calling yellow leads to a conversation about what needs to happen next - stop that particular thing completely/take it gentle for a bit/something else. 

It's very useful and quite straight forward to remember. 

  • Like 2
Posted
Personally, we use a two syllable safe word... for the sake of the point let’s say : biscuit. whilst BISCUIT would bring an immediate stop to play and checking in with her... BIS brings about an immediate reduction is pace or intensity of the current act , but play will continue and the overall direction and intensity of the scene will continue. Great for impact play / spanking sessions and the like .... Also I have read if couples that use day time collars or particular items of clothing to distinguish between the D/s dynamic being on or off if necessary Goose
  • Like 2
PatientTraveller
Posted

I'll stick to the traffic lights, green, amber and red. It's simple and works for me.

But I just have to share that I think "Biscuit" is groovy...definitely going to use "Biscuit" in another activity though...not sure if it is my diet or just the way that my damaged little mind works.

Mrchristopher70
Posted

We use butterfly it's something that can't be mistaken never used it yet but above all I think you need to be in touch with reading your sub . I love the study of body language and this is usually a tell that they  can't hide as it involuntary. But I agree the traffic light system is great in play . C 

  • Like 1
Posted

Cheers everyone, good to know it's something that works.

Posted

red yellow an green work well for me.  most people on here understand it. if im chatein an some 1 says something im not into an makes me uncomfortable i go sorry thats my red area 

Posted

Yes agree that your Dom needs to know and read your body language .A Safe word is fundamental though.

On 29/12/2017 at 8:41 PM, Mrchristopher70 said:

We use butterfly it's something that can't be mistaken never used it yet but above all I think you need to be in touch with reading your sub . I love the study of body language and this is usually a tell that they  can't hide as it involuntary. But I agree the traffic light system is great in play . C 

 


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