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Hey everyone - mostly joined this community to ask a specific question. Me and my (ex) long term partner broke up last week, and after a bit of time has passed and I've settled emotionally I'm probably going to start looking to date again. I have some kinks (basically I'm really into the idea of being submissive) and am wondering if there's, like.... I don't know, a code maybe (?) that people use on dating sites to subtly indicate that they're submissive or dominant to those in the know. It would be cool to be able to signal this with a word or phrase that people into the same kind of thing would recognise, but that I wouldn't have to worry about people I know/friends of friends stumbling across and TELLING EVERYONE THAT I'M WEIRD. I'd be amazed if the BDSM community hasn't got some sneaky secret codewords to let other kinky people on dating sites that this is what they're into. TELL ME I'M RIGHT!

Ta :)

There arent any secret words in the BDSM comunity. The main thing that BDSM is built on is honesty. You could just put that you are interested in something that is new to yourself
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Fabulous idea, I don't use vanilla dating sites as I've had boyfriends that thought I was nuts when I've brought up fetishes....I did consider getting a bdsm necklace but I think that might be to well known now

You could just update your profile on here to state what you are actually looking for, as well updating an ad in the listings section. That and look for Domme, also on this site. Then be prepared to be ignored etc.

oh, and always be polite, like you would in real life. That is always a good benchmark; if you wouldn’t show or say this or that in real life, then it probably does not work online either.

on other sites, you can always put in the odd keyword in describing yourself; compliant, adventurous - plenty of choice.

no secret code or handshake, I am afraid - although that could be fun in public life if say a certain wiggle indicated one thing or the other :D

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