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Mattyc37

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Mattyc37
Posted

So I’ve met a woman who is really into bdsm.  Any tips for a first timer ?  

Posted
Ask her what she likes.. conversations always help
Posted

if your unsure what she likes and dont want to ask start trying everything veery mild and see her responce, then push it from there start on your own desires first as you will appear more comfortable and that will allow her to think you know what your doing if your a little lost

Posted

Definitely talk to her about what she likes after you know that also  ask what her soft limits are (things she's not sure off but is happy to try sometimes or push a little at times) and Hard limits (total and utter no-nos) .

When you've got this info you'll be able to be more specific in your serching and question asking. BDSM is huuuugggeeee! Getting specifics is definitely the way to go!

Posted
25 minutes ago, youngfunbdsm said:

if your unsure what she likes and dont want to ask start trying everything veery mild and see her responce, then push it from there start on your own desires first as you will appear more comfortable and that will allow her to think you know what your doing if your a little lost

I wouldn't recommend this approach at all. I think open conversation and communication is best. Trust is a big part of any BDSM interaction and winging it isn't going to end well. 

SirArtu
Posted
I agree woth Victoria. Winging it is never a good idea. Not only will you leave yourself open to potential problems but sooner or later you're likely to slip up. Yes, confidence is a good thing but without knowledge, confidence will inevitably come across as either cocky or abusive. I recommend you read up on different bits of BDSM as much as possible. Make a note of the things, such as Bondage, impact/sensual/wax play etc and sit and talk to her about what she may or may not like. She will appreciate your effort to "learn your trade" and you're likely to have a lot of fun trying things out together. All the best x
eyemblacksheep
Posted

your opening post is a little high level. "really into BDSM" could mean one of many many things.  Is she sub, Dom, whatever?

The best advice is to talk to her.  She already has the advantage of being into it.  You can get an idea of what she is into and also what she might like to do with you.   

Where you go next depends on that.  Also it's very important that ideas are stuff that would appeal to you.


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