Where are all the Dommes?

[TheReadingPuppy]

Where are all the Dommes?  This is supposed to be a bdsm site!!!

[Robustlove]

Most of the real and genuine Dommes I have come across in my time in the Kink world, I have come across via munches or BDSM clubs and Dungeons. I have met very few genuine online Dommes, but I do know that there are a few on this site. The trouble is the number of submissive men who are looking for them far outweigh the supply and there are far too many 18 year old's with no experience pretending to be something they are not and simply demanding guys give over their card details so they can be fleeced.

Edited February 27, 2018 by Robustlove
spelling

[Deleted Member]

Maybe take the blindfold of and your see some Dom's lol

[Robustlove]

1 minute ago, Daddygentle said:

Maybe take the blindfold of and your see some Dom's lol

I believe the original poster TheReadingPuppy, was referring to Domme's in the feminine sense of the term, and he's not wrong. When it comes to male Dom's, this site has plenty in supply. It's an interesting juxtaposition that we have an over supply of Dom men and an far smaller demand from female submissives for Dom men (from what I'm seeing and being told by others on the site) and then we have a high volume of demand for Domme women and yet an under supply of Domme women to meet the demand for them.

[Deleted Member]

Yes I would have to agree most Dom women that I have spoken to in the past seem to be more interested in *** than actaul bdsm and being an actaul Dom which is a shame and can make people want to give up even looking 

[TheReadingPuppy]

Yes too many scammers and fakes. I been to many munches and events but all the Mistresses I see already have partners

[Deleted Member]

Robustlove I actually experienced that on here the other week. Was chatting away very nicly with a dom then all of a sudden he tells he's my master an I need to hand over all my passwords including online banking. Let's just say he apologised very quickly 😊

[Li****]

Robustlove Have to disagree, I am inundated with guys wanting me to be there Domme but meet very few Doms, especially available ones. ...they are few and far between

[Si****]

@TheReadingPuppy @PrettyPrinny Oh Get a Room you two! 😋

[ey****]

Hilarious.  

Because this doesn't make you look desperate... oh wait....

[Robustlove]

3 hours ago, Elliemay said:

Robustlove I actually experienced that on here the other week. Was chatting away very nicely with a dom then all of a sudden he tells he's my master an I need to hand over all my passwords including online banking. Let's just say he apologised very quickly 😊

I hear you Elliemay. Far to often there are male or female scammers who are more interested in lining their pockets than anything genuine or kinky that has both parties best interests at the core of what they do. I'll say this. If a man claiming to be a Dom has not put in the work to not only earn your respect but also earn your submission; before he makes any demands or gives you any orders to follow, then he is not a real Dom and sadly part of the wannabe contingent of the site, of which there are many. Far to many guys who claim they are Dom's are actually just guys who are sexually desperate or looking to get laid and they often don't take long to spot as they don't have much patience or understanding of what a real Dom is and how they act and hold themselves. They quickly become rude or arrogant and demeaning and act like a spoilt child who's not getting what they want.

That tactic of playing nice for half a day or the first dozen or so messages seems to be one many people on this site use. Another one being pretending to be a submissive at first and then starting to make demands and acting more like a Dom. My partner and I have had some great laughs at those types.

 

3 hours ago, LittleAngel said:

Robustlove Have to disagree, I am inundated with guys wanting me to be there Domme but meet very few Doms, especially available ones. ...they are few and far between

I understand where your coming from LittleAngel and maybe I should have been more precise in my descriptions. There are certainly a great number of men on the site who "claim", to be Dom's, juts as there are a great number of women who "claim" to be Dommes or Mistresses, but what I would describe as the genuine Dom's and Dommes are far fewer in number. Yet I would still maintain that I have met far more genuine Dom men on the site (which is odd in and of itself considering I am male and not looking for a Dom myself) and seen them being far more active than the number of genuine Domme women. I am also talking and drawing from the experiences of all the people my partner and our friends have met and interacted with on the site but maybe we have simply had different experiences and hence have different perceptions of things.

 

Either way I think there is a big issue with genuine versus fake/wannabe Dom/Dommes on the site, but then that simply makes this site no different to many others in that regard as you will always have to hone your tools and get good at sifting the wheat from the chaff in that respect. What I do find encouraging is that there are more guys on the site now who are quite open and honest in saying on their profiles that they would either like to be a Dom, are inexperienced or are training to become one. Hopefully a heartening message for any of the submissive out there who are still searching for their Dom or Master.     

[Li****]

2 minutes ago, Robustlove said:

I hear you Elliemay. Far to often there are male or female scammers who are more interested in lining their pockets than anything genuine or kinky that has both parties best interests at the core of what they do. I'll say this. If a man claiming to be a Dom has not put in the work to not only earn your respect but also earn your submission; before he makes any demands or gives you any orders to follow, then he is not a real Dom and sadly part of the wannabe contingent of the site, of which there are many. Far to many guys who claim they are Dom's are actually just guys who are sexually desperate or looking to get laid and they often don't take long to spot as they don't have much patience or understanding of what a real Dom is and how they act and hold themselves. They quickly become rude or arrogant and demeaning and act like a spoilt child who's not getting what they want.

That tactic of playing nice for half a day or the first dozen or so messages seems to be one many people on this site use. Another one being pretending to be a submissive at first and then starting to make demands and acting more like a Dom. My partner and I have had some great laughs at those types.

 

I understand where your coming from LittleAngel and maybe I should have been more precise in my descriptions. There are certainly a great number of men on the site who "claim", to be Dom's, juts as there are a great number of women who "claim" to be Dommes or Mistresses, but what I would describe as the genuine Dom's and Dommes are far fewer in number. Yet I would still maintain that I have met far more genuine Dom men on the site (which is odd in and of itself considering I am male and not looking for a Dom myself) and seen them being far more active than the number of genuine Domme women. I am also talking and drawing from the experiences of all the people my partner and our friends have met and interacted with on the site but maybe we have simply had different experiences and hence have different perceptions of things.

 

Either way I think there is a big issue with genuine versus fake/wannabe Dom/Dommes on the site, but then that simply makes this site no different to many others in that regard as you will always have to hone your tools and get good at sifting the wheat from the chaff in that respect. What I do find encouraging is that there are more guys on the site now who are quite open and honest in saying on their profiles that they would either like to be a Dom, are inexperienced or are training to become one. Hopefully a heartening message for any of the submissive out there who are still searching for their Dom or Master.     

I actually believe that more men have submissive tendencies than dominant ones. Which I do understand. ...but it follows that there are always going to be submissives without Dom/Domme because there just isn't an equal balance.

Or maybe I only attract the submissive ones lol 

[Robustlove]

5 minutes ago, LittleAngel said:

I actually believe that more men have submissive tendencies than dominant ones. Which I do understand. ...but it follows that there are always going to be submissives without Dom/Domme because there just isn't an equal balance.

Or maybe I only attract the submissive ones lol 

I don't think your alone there LittleAngel. Most of the women I know on this site attract far more submissive males than Dominant males and I would agree that amongst men there are far more who have submissive tendencies than those who have Dom tendencies and it's easy to understand why  that release from being in charge or being in control for many men is so appealing. Most of the wannabe or fake Dom's have no idea how much work and effort it takes to actually be a good Dom and to take on the responsibility of what I would call "beneficially controlling and dominating", another human being. Most just don't have the willpower, self control or strength of character for it. 

[Li****]

5 minutes ago, Robustlove said:

I don't think your alone there LittleAngel. Most of the women I know on this site attract far more submissive males than Dominant males and I would agree that amongst men there are far more who have submissive tendencies than those who have Dom tendencies and it's easy to understand why  that release from being in charge or being in control for many men is so appealing. Most of the wannabe or fake Dom's have no idea how much work and effort it takes to actually be a good Dom and to take on the responsibility of what I would call "beneficially controlling and dominating", another human being. Most just don't have the willpower, self control or strength of character for it. 

Yea. . That's all kind of depressing to think I may never find the right Dom for me 😔

[ey****]

generally, I think numbers are a lot closer (in the wider kink scene) than implied.  However, 'sub' blokes not getting what they want tend to be the loudest, despite there being a number of events catering to them.  (at a variety of budgets for variant levels of likelihood of play)

Online generally isn't that friendly to women, particularly Dominants.  Twenty quid says if a woman posted on this thread "I am a Dominant woman" she would then be totally bombed by messages.  But, there's probably about a dozen or so reading this thread and eye-rolling.

It doesn't help we seem to treat them as a rarer breed than they are.

Where are they : they are in munches, they are at events, some also offer pro services, most do not, some appear as sub but have a tendency to switch, some are the lady on the vanilla site whose maybe been a bit interested but not been introduced to the world of kink.  Many of which are not actively looking, some of which are open to being served or being served by someone else, but few will advertise this, they're just waiting for those willing to put in the effort to impress them.

Sometimes though, you have to get on a train.  I'm unowned but there's two Mistresses I regularly serve and both of which involve getting a train across the country.  But, this makes our time together even more valuable.

 

[ey****]

for Male Doms.
Well, I switch and yeah - being quite happy for my sub side - I am looking for a sub.  There are a lot of guys whom, well, they don't think much above sex in their Dominance - I noticed on another thread some would be "Daddys" who don't really have a clue, they just think "young sluts" are easy or something.  Again, locally I know a few male Doms and switches - and some without a regular partner.

Men are generally easy though, there's less impressing and 'getting noticed' - most of us you just have to smile nicely at.

[Bellissimo1]

21 hours ago, TheReadingPuppy said:

Yes too many scammers and fakes. I been to many munches and events but all the Mistresses I see already have partners

Nothing wrong  in having watching partners 

[Bellissimo1]

13 hours ago, LittleAngel said:

Yea. . That's all kind of depressing to think I may never find the right Dom for me 😔

Substantial  difference between wanting a femdom during sexplay  time and 24/7.Personally just in recreational time.If you wanna have it day after day ...all day...THEN you have a problem.A BIG one.You are ideal candidate for a pecuniary  milking.lol 

[Li****]

2 hours ago, Bellissimo1 said:

Substantial  difference between wanting a femdom during sexplay  time and 24/7.Personally just in recreational time.If you wanna have it day after day ...all day...THEN you have a problem.A BIG one.You are ideal candidate for a pecuniary  milking.lol 

Agreed. .for the original poster or any male submissive....bit different for us female submissives

[TheReadingPuppy]

I've actually  given up. I don't think I'll ever  find a Mistress.  I always  keep looking  though just incase

[Li****]

1 minute ago, TheReadingPuppy said:

I've actually  given up. I don't think I'll ever  find a Mistress.  I always  keep looking  though just incase

Have you attended events. ..munches etc

[TheReadingPuppy]

Yes.  Many many events,  party's , munches. Etc

[Li****]

2 minutes ago, TheReadingPuppy said:

Yes.  Many many events,  party's , munches. Etc

😔...just need to keep putting yourself out there I guess 

[ey****]

Like.

If you're in Reading it's half an hour on the train to London, as well as good connections to other areas.  If one event in London is not introducing you to people, there's always another.  I know for a matter of fact there are Mistresses/Domme's in London with scope to take on (more) subs.

If you're finding people are only interested in you on the night - then what are you doing?  Are you talking to people after the event on how you can become more desirable.  There's a certain madness in doing same things and expecting different results.

[TheReadingPuppy]

I've been to many events in London.  Most Dommes have partners already or they are not wanting anymore subs.