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saphy

The BDSM Academy

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Posted

 

Task one.

"What do you expect to gain from your current experience?"

 

Task two.

"What does submission mean to you?"

 

Task three.

Dominants should always be typed with a Capital letter and submissive with a lowercase letter unless otherwise instructed. Why?

 

Task four.

SAFE WORD: 


•not ordinarily something one hears during a scene
•gives participants in a D/s scene a way to express their discomfort or need to stop the play
•should be stated before hand so everyone knows to stop when they hear it
•play should stop IMMEDIATELY when it is said

LIMITS: 

•any action or scene that someone is not comfortable doing
•should be stated before play begins; however they sometimes pop up during play….use your safe word if this happens

--List your safe word and limits, think carefully

 

Task five.

"What does obedience mean to you?"

 

Task six.

"Why is communication important in a D/s relationship?"

 

Task seven.

"What do you feel are the reasons for explicit trust in a D/s dynamic?"

 

Task eight. 

"Name the tenants/cornerstones of the BDSM lifestyle and explain their definitions and purpose"

 

Task nine. 

"What does Dominance mean to you?"

 

 

Task ten.

"complete this journal again in two months time and reflect on the changes you've made within all of the tasks given....explain now why this would be an important  practice."

 

  • Like 9
Posted
As always...perfection in word and meaning great post xxxxx
  • Like 2
Posted

Great post Saphy, I'd urge anyone to read and think about..but if I may say so, I think using the word task..instead of question might have been a mistake if you want Dominants to participate ..and perhaps done it in parts, the questions/tasks deserve more than a cursory response..which given their number  could/would take quite a while.

  • Like 1
Posted
Thankyou for responding MsJax and as always, feedback is good to hear. However, Im not sure if I've picked up what you mean in the right manner....this is merely a 'tool'...i completed similar myself when I first came to the lifestyle and the answers I found when truly evaluating each question, were truly lengthy lol I font think of you used the 'tool' correctly, that you could answer any other way. But in saying that, there's no right or wrong answers here....its purely to enable people (submissive or Dominant) the thought process in its for definitive form to aid their own growth moreso than just an ordinary 'task'. I hope this clears up any misunderstandings there may have been and again, thank you for the time you spent acknowledging the post. I am in fact quite humbled. xx
  • Like 1
Posted
21 minutes ago, saphy said:

Thankyou for responding MsJax and as always, feedback is good to hear. However, Im not sure if I've picked up what you mean in the right manner....this is merely a 'tool'...i completed similar myself when I first came to the lifestyle and the answers I found when truly evaluating each question, were truly lengthy lol I font think of you used the 'tool' correctly, that you could answer any other way. But in saying that, there's no right or wrong answers here....its purely to enable people (submissive or Dominant) the thought process in its for definitive form to aid their own growth moreso than just an ordinary 'task'. I hope this clears up any misunderstandings there may have been and again, thank you for the time you spent acknowledging the post. I am in fact quite humbled. xx

As you know, very often Dominants give submissives/slaves/littles etc etc tasks to complete, given that, a lot, especially those to whom an etiquette, or perceived one, is important will balk at the idea they are being given a task themselves. Personally, I don't have a problem with that, and I would imagine most that do are insecure in their role or new to it..which is itself a shame, as they're the ones who could/would benefit the most from reflection about the questions you've asked.

I didn't intend my first reply to be a criticism Saphy,  just an observation x

  • Like 1
Posted
2 hours ago, MsJax said:

As you know, very often Dominants give submissives/slaves/littles etc etc tasks to complete, given that, a lot, especially those to whom an etiquette, or perceived one, is important will balk at the idea they are being given a task themselves. Personally, I don't have a problem with that, and I would imagine most that do are insecure in their role or new to it..which is itself a shame, as they're the ones who could/would benefit the most from reflection about the questions you've asked.

I didn't intend my first reply to be a criticism Saphy,  just an observation x

Oh wow!!!! Please believe that isn't at all the intention here MsJax....Jeez ~ I wouldn't be so demeaning nor condescending to even think of implying a task of any sort upon a respectable Dominant lol I think my head would roll! 😂 I'm not that nieve lol but of course, If that said Dominant finds the tool helpful in whichever manner they would then they're welcome to do so. 

The other concept I had in mind when I posted this post, was that people (either Dominant or submissive) would complete their 'journeys'  via the comments so that it would become an educational thread for those who haven't yet discovered the paths that afford them the answers they may be seeking. 

I trust in Your criticisms and Your judgements and I'm grateful for either. 

saphy xx

  • Like 1
PatientTraveller
Posted (edited)

As a Dom, I believe both Dom(s) and Sub(s) should reflect on these tasks and more. The responses continually evolve the more  experience you gain regardless if you are new or long time practitioner. BDSM is a constant learning process about the self and others.

Not sure if I am following the treads intention, but I am a firm believer that Dom(s) and sub(s) are both halves of a whole, they may not always fit perfectly, but through sharing and communication they both learn about themselves and progress towards becoming a better contributors in a relationship.

I have learnt from partners as well as sharing with partners, BDSM is about learning, there is nothing that says a Dom can not learn from a sub. Many may believe this is a sign of weakness, yet a Dom's control comes from being honest with themselves, knowing their limitations and knowing what they have to learn. Knowing this and sharing this a submissive who is new or experienced can relax in the knowledge that the Dom will be confident stepping back when the situation exceeds their competence or progressing with caution and a higher degree of awareness.

Simple example:

Take a simple and common case, many Dom's voice out when a sub states they are lying to their Dom, usually with a connection to disrespect...could it simply be that when a sub lies to their Dom, they are lying to themselves. This introduces the danger of self deception that both Dom(s) and sub(s) must face as individuals and in relationships.

We need tasks, examples and knowledge share to progress on each of our journeys. Asking questions and sharing makes the unknown known, make dangers visible and efforts appreciated. 

Remember Dom(s) and sub(s), learning alone is a hard and exhausting approach to BDSM and invites mistakes. BDSM encourages learning, sharing and promotes values that enrich both Dom(s) and sub(s).

Edited by PatientTraveller
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  • Like 3

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