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mydarkpassenger

New DOM looking for guidance

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mydarkpassenger
Posted

I recently got involved with a girl at work who is naturally submissive and I seem to have fallen into the role of a DOM pretty quickly without actively seeking it out.  I'm enjoying the dynamic and I've considered looking into it in the past but I'm also new to it.  I've checked out a couple of guides and some DOMS seem to talk about controlling the person's life and I don't see myself in this type of role.  I'm treating the role as someone who tries to create experiences for my sub based on what they tell me they are into.  I'm  more into making them have a rewarding experience than using them to get off.  For example, I ordered a remote controlled vibrator for her and I plan to take her to a public place and play with the intensity while trying to get her to react and probably putting her in some awkward situations where I fluctuate the intensity while she's talking to someone.  I told her and she thinks it will be a big turn on.  I've also made her pleasure herself according to my directions for an hour before I let her cum and made her thank me afterward (through text).  The fucked up part is we've had no physical intimacy up to this point and we're both new to this so I'm figuring it out and she's not sure how far she wants to go but is interested.  I'm having her come over this weekend to watch a movie and cuddle to try and get more comfortable with each other but I'm not sure the best course of action.  The situation is weird (to me) but I think it's a positive experience and I don't want to screw it up. 

  • Like 2
eyemblacksheep
Posted

it sounds like you're heading in the right direction.   There's rights and wrongs depending on the nature of your relationship and this is something for you to grow and explore together.

After play, or at the end of a day, ask her for feedback.  What she enjoyed, what she didn't. What she didn't but would do again, and what she wouldn't want to do again. What she'd like to do more of.

Good luck :)

BohemianBlonde
Posted
Read lots and communicate with her lots and I mean lots ! Build the trust between you and her and find out her hard and soft limits.Also take it very slowly. x
  • Like 2
mydarkpassenger
Posted

I appreciate the advice.  I plan to get as much feedback as I can and I plan to do as much research as I can.  If I'm starting this I want to be good at it.


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