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Financial Domination- Really getting on my nerves

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Posted

I really don't know about others but I am really getting sick and tired of this financial doms. I mean when was it there I became all about the money? I mean I thought BDSM was about ,you know, being one with the other person and enjoying the lifestyle now it's all about financial. I mean just it really takes me off I mean it's hard to find anyone genuine these days just hopefully does not last much longer because this is not what BDSM is about and the ones who truly know what it is I will understand what I'm saying but what do you all think

  • Like 12
Posted

Financial domination is a legitimate branch of BDSM. BDSM can be many different things to many different people. We want to be welcoming to all kinky people here,  that's what we're all about. :)

We are working to make it easier for financial dominators and other paid service providers to mark their profiles as such. So it will be easier for the community to recognise them at a glance.  You will start to see those changes very soon. 

Meanwhile, if any of you have any concerns about a user offering financial services without the gold euro mark on their profile to denote their paid services status then please use the 'report user' button and inform the team. We'll then investigate further. 

 

  • Like 7
Posted
BDSM includes many branches & one of these branches include people paying for pleasure, cash pigs etc It doesn’t mean that these people aren’t genuine or aren’t part of the Bdsm world & as long as they make it clear what they want (same as us all) then there’s no harm in it. Personally I don’t see the excitement in it, just like I don’t see the excitement in the foot fetish side of things....Not everything in BDSM connects with us all, that’s what makes us all different. It isn’t wrong or disingenuous it just means we’re all beautifully unique.
  • Like 4
Posted
(Sorry VictoriaBlisse I’ve just seen your reply after I posted mine which is similar to what I put, I promise I wasn’t copying you 😬🙈)
  • Like 1
SirPhileasFlogg
Posted
I would prefer it if I could just block anyone I think is a scammer so I would just not see them at all. My own thoughts on the matter? If you're paying for it, you're a customer, not a Sub!
  • Like 6
Posted
I agree! I do also agree thought that just like other elements of the BDSM world some people do get turned on by being told to pay for something or buy an item for a Mistress but at the same time there is way too many of these situations going on too many Mistress’ out and about claiming they love the lifestyle but actually just want the money out of it.
  • Like 4
garry21
Posted
agreed all you ever hear and get on here is demands for cash to even get a skype id or to see or hear that the female is even real, its a joke
  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

Honestly, I only know of a few true paypigs.

Most male submissives who I have talked to, who end up in these arrangements, do so because there are no where near enough Dommes for the amount of male submissives looking - and like any market, where there’s a need an industry will pop up to support it.

I do believe paypigs are one of the most vulnerable groups of submissives and it can be extremely difficult for them to find true ethical FinDoms.

What I find is interesting is, as a Domme, I have a wide variety of activities I do with my sub and I’m always exploring what else is out there. For any paypigs looking for a FinDom, there seems to be a very narrow range of humiliation/blackmail style activities they do, but what about all the rest??

Paypigs - really investigate what your Dommes responsibilities to you are and hold true to ALL the wants you have from a D/s dynamic (no it’s not just about money). If the FinDom you’re talking to doesn’t understand written agreements, doesn’t have a broader range of activities they practice and just seems to want money - back away and look elsewhere.

For all the male subs who have no interest whatsoever in financial submission, just ignore the ‘ads’ and say you’re not a paypig. While it seems really difficult to find a good Domme, don’t give up.

Heels 👠👠

Edited by MissHeels
  • Like 10
Posted
I agree too, it's been less than a month I joined and I have already grown tired of that pseudo-dom mechanics going on here, it hurts the community in a bad way, more than once I have seen so much of these profiles in a single day that I feel the entire site is a scam, worst thing is I am not even explicitly looking for them, they just come up over and over while browsing. I understand being a dom implies a lot of effort, but making a business out of it just causes a "marketable situation" as Miss Heels already mentioned but that becomes a honeypot for scamming. Free interaction must be rewarded, chatting and posting I mean, since I also advocate for caution before meeting.
  • Like 2
eyemblacksheep
Posted

if financial domination isn't your kink, don't do it.

it's not my kink, so I don't indulge.

It is, however, unlikely to go away.  Just as guys who put no effort in won't go away either.

c'est la vie.

The thing is though - if you like, go out and about - to munches, clubs, events - you just don't see Findoms.  So, the best way to like, avoid them, is in real life.

 

  • Like 1
garry21
Posted

people come here to try and find a match, if we all used a real life situation then this site would be empty.  The initial point that was made implies that almost all female domme's seem to wish to be paid, none ever show a face or even prove they are real, so users seeking to find suitable others have an impossible task on here as any requests to female domme's are usually met with demands for cash before they even do anything and thats not exactly legit and an easy way to scam people

3SumQueen
Posted

Goes the other way too. I used to get loads of messages until i put that i wasn't offering any free services on here (because literally all my messages were from guys expecting to be serviced for free). Since i put on my profile i'm looking for more than no strings 'fun' my inbox has been pretty much empty.

  • Like 2
BitchyLaurie
Posted

No offense but if you're not a domme or a paypig or financial domination does not get you off I don't exactly see you why you should be bothered by this. If you get approached by Dommes just ignore them you're not under compulsion to answer. Financial domination is a type of BDSM you can't erase it because it doesn't go down well with you. I may understand your frustration because you might not be a sub and the women that do approach you majority of the time or you come across on this site are more often than not Financial dominatrixes.

  • Like 1
Posted
I think it is a different issue than just rambling against the specific fetish, seemingly most of the people calling themselves "fin doms" are failing to deliver in regards of a fetish, what I mean is, that if you claim to be a domme, you are expected to know a thing or two about BDSM, invest yourself in learning shibari, medical terms, creative insults or at the very least put some effort in your attire and attitude; otherwise you are not a dom at all, just a person wanting to milk money out of someone for no good reason, and that is a problem for the community because it hurts the experience, makes it feel dull and just like a SCAM. Already told my personal experience about it below.
  • Like 2
eyemblacksheep
Posted

I was in a conversation on this with someone the other day.

There's no actual easy money market.  And what happens is when our wouldbe Findom finds this isn't as lucrative as she expected, perhaps barely getting lunch money if anything - then she disappears.

If of course, she has/had an actual interest in fetish and/or BDSM then she probably has a better chance of doing a little better - but certainly the "fakes" don't last very long.

Most guys don't fall for this - and the ones that do don't part with very much.  Because there's no incentive to.  I saw a guy the other day bawing he'd been scammed out of a £20 Amazon Card.  Twenty quid.  C'mon.  Nobody is getting rich out of the odd dafty who parts with twenty quid cos he's thought with his cock and not his brain.

  • Like 1
garry21
Posted

I agree with fifiofo, most do called dommes no little of anything on here its just a set of pics and someone with an attitude. I dont mind a domme who does paid sessions but you never get any who will prove they are female, and having been a room mod in another site for many years its a red flag as it only promotes scamming. you cant just demand cash from users but thats what they do, and thats almost all dommes in here sadly

eyemblacksheep
Posted

I like the irony : no profile picture and a virtually blank profile.

  • Like 3
Posted (edited)

What the issue seems to be is there’s no way to filter out Dominants who will only do paid work. If someone isn’t into FinDom - and let’s be honest, true paypigs are rare, wading through the barrage of profiles that only do paid services is off putting and it does make it seem like there are no lifestyle Dommes here - which there are! 

Alternatively, set a better vetting standard for financial Dominant profiles where they do need to prove they are real, have experience, are a legit member of their local community etc, so anyone willing to part with some cash isn’t scammed. 

What this site has the potential to turn into is just an ad platform for paid services with all the lifestyle people moving to other forums where they have better mechanisms to say no to the FinDoms and not feel like they are continually harassed for money. 

What the slavetoserve has said in their original post is a valid problem and just ignoring it will only drive submissives sick of only being hit up by FinDoms away from this site. 

1 - better identification of people who will only do paid services. 

2 - a way to filter them out if financial dominantion is not your thing and you do not want to be continually asked for money. 

Heels 👠👠

 

addit:

This lifestyle is about consent - respecting the word ‘no’ is a fundamental. 

If it was female submissives feeling like they were being harassed and felt their only way out was to leave the site I think there would be a totally different reaction to this issue. 

Edited by MissHeels
  • Like 5
Posted

I have found a lot of them dont even tell you that they are findommes until after you have done online tasks. Then its pay me 

  • Like 2
eyemblacksheep
Posted

tying in with MissHeels above, how is this for a solution.

- Verification for ALL profiles.  The verification photo doesn't need to be made public for those whom wish to not show their face, but should be made available for the site to verify people.

- Anyone offering any paid services, be it Pro-Domme, Findom, Cash Master, selling socks/pictures/panties must have a financial account.

- anyone whom messages or posts offering paid service without such an account is temporarily suspended (I got a suspension for posting external links!!!) and then moved to a financial account.  Easier process for people to report

- anyone who makes false reports also receives a temporary suspension

- ALL users have the option to filter whom can and can't contact them : this is common practice on many sites, so if a Lady only wishes to be contacted by Dominant males aged 25-40 then a 19 year old sub cannot message her.  That in itself could be more appealing to increase the number of women on the site whom might otherwise be put off by barrage of messages.  And someone who wishes not to be contacted by those marked with a financial account cannot be messaged.  This would make the process off-putting for chancers.

I don't think the above is difficult to put into practice - admin/mods/techies?!

  • Like 3
zippedy555
Posted
On 27/03/2018 at 2:14 PM, MissHeels said:

Honestly, I only know of a few true paypigs.

Most male submissives who I have talked to, who end up in these arrangements, do so because there are no where near enough Dommes for the amount of male submissives looking - and like any market, where there’s a need an industry will pop up to support it.

I do believe paypigs are one of the most vulnerable groups of submissives and it can be extremely difficult for them to find true ethical FinDoms.

What I find is interesting is, as a Domme, I have a wide variety of activities I do with my sub and I’m always exploring what else is out there. For any paypigs looking for a FinDom, there seems to be a very narrow range of humiliation/blackmail style activities they do, but what about all the rest??

Paypigs - really investigate what your Dommes responsibilities to you are and hold true to ALL the wants you have from a D/s dynamic (no it’s not just about money). If the FinDom you’re talking to doesn’t understand written agreements, doesn’t have a broader range of activities they practice and just seems to want money - back away and look elsewhere.

For all the male subs who have no interest whatsoever in financial submission, just ignore the ‘ads’ and say you’re not a paypig. While it seems really difficult to find a good Domme, don’t give up.

Heels 👠👠

Unfortunately happens all to often for me. would never give a tribute as they call it.

  • Like 1
TechnoViking
Posted (edited)

nah financial domination is not legitimate. Its just robbing people. We are here to have fun explore our fetish desires and not for our bank accounts to be cleaned out. And attitude is good, not just online attitude but real life. If they want money from me they can ask me in reality not in virtual. 

Edited by TechnoViking
  • Like 1
eyemblacksheep
Posted

further to my above comment - I've just found

if you go into account settings > message filters

you can set filters on who can message you.

I think newcomers hoping for a quick buck are unlikely to have a verified profile, so maybe just click that setting and it should reduce messages like that.  I've just turned on a filter to try to stop some of the annoying messages I sometimes get from guys.

  • Like 1
Posted

It seems every woman who has joined recently are after one thing. Money. Its becoming a joke. 

TechnoViking
Posted

Ask them to pay you, reverse it. If you want my attention Dommy, i only accept cash.

  • Like 1

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