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Curious021418

Help a newly Single 38 Female!!!! Please!!!

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Curious021418
Posted (edited)

K... I can’t believe I’m posting this. I’m 38 and I have had 3 sexual partners. I’m single and looking for a good Dom. I’m quite confident I’m a sub. How does one go about pursuing this? I haven’t had one night stands, but I’m starting to consider it (I’m hoping y’all can guess why). Sadly, I’m obviously pretty naive in this area. I feel like I have needs and desires I want to fulfill, but I haven’t the slightest hinkling as to how to pursue them. Urgh... I don’t know how to hook up with someone. 

Sorry if this topic seems ridiculously lame, but I haven’t the slightest hinkling as to how to put myself “out there”...

I’d really appreciate advice.

Edited by Curious021418
  • Like 5
Curious021418
Posted

Did I mention I’m a total introvert?

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SirPhileasFlogg
Posted
Munches are a great way of getting out there and meeting lots of kinky people. Not only potential Doms but also a variety of people yo broaden your horizons. Best of luck x
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SirPhileasFlogg
Posted
No you hadnt. But even introverts do really well at Meeting people at Munches. Maybe go along with someone you k ow and trust so you dont feel left out. Or contact the much organisers and explain your situation so they can make an extra effort to make you feel welcome and included. That's what I do for newbies at my munches...
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Posted
I have only really had 4 serious relationships and I'm 42 so theres nothing to be ashamed about x
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Posted

Yeah, it can be hard getting out there as an introvert but munches are a great place to start. If you're nervous, contact the organisers and someone will meet you and introduce you to people so you don't have to go in on your own.  They're great ways to meet different kinky people, just to socialise with. It's a good place to make friends, find out about the scene and yes, maybe find a Dom. But really, getting into the scene and meeting other kinksters is probably the best first priority to have. 

  • Like 2
eyemblacksheep
Posted

I'm not one to judge on one night stands. But from a D/s perspective, which it appears you're seeking, it'd likely leave you largely unfullfilled and open up to a lot of risks.

As an f-sub, you hold a lot of power.   But, will also attract a lot of idiots - be it inexperienced Doms or Masters - you'll be able to see these straight away as they'll come into your inbox already in role.  

Certainly though, there'll be no shortage of suitors, some with potential.  So, try to find out what you want and what you want the relationship to be like.  This could be, for example, someone where you only meet "in role" - or someone which is a standard relationship for the best part but with a BDSM twist - or it could be a full time giving up control.

As mentioned above, munches, not just for the prospect of meeting *someone* but meeting others will help enrich your knowledge.

Be wary of potential abuse or manipulation : anyone who tries to tell you that you have to do something because they are Dom and you are sub is an abuser, unless you have otherwise agreed this is OK (and, ultimately, have an out...)

Good luck. 

  • Like 1
SirPhileasFlogg
Posted
"Because I'm the Dom and you're the Sub" is taught in Dom School. along with: "I'm an experienced Dom, do you wanna see my cock?" and: " Get on your knees and beg to be fucked slut" as opening messages....
  • Like 4
Posted

Hi

as previously said I would be wary of one nighters they leave you so open to abuse (the kind you don’t want ;) ) and can leave you feeling really really unsatisfied. Some predators use these as an excuse to break hard limits etc so can be dangerous.

i have met my previous doms online - I agree they can be very difficult to find in real life though munches are good. We talked for weeks before meeting and the first few sessions were always rough vanilla type sex to be honest it gave us a great feel for each other but also left more to look forward to at the point of full submission.

remember - submission is earnt not expected. Make them work for it because once you hand it over it’s something you can rarely take back :) 

Tilly

  • Like 2
Posted
4 hours ago, SirArtu said:

"Because I'm the Dom and you're the Sub" is taught in Dom School. along with: "I'm an experienced Dom, do you wanna see my cock?" and: " Get on your knees and beg to be fucked slut" as opening messages....

Get out of my inbox already ;) 

  • Like 2
SirPhileasFlogg
Posted
6 hours ago, Tillysub said:

Get out of my inbox already ;) 

Haha  no way! The new graduates of Dom School are coming to get you with their Ultra dominance and a selection of dic pics (some of which may belong to other people)

Enjoy! 😋

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Myrtz
Posted
17 hours ago, SirArtu said:

"Because I'm the Dom and you're the Sub" is taught in Dom School. 

And I have it on very good authority that Dom school is an actual real place.......

  • Like 1
SirPhileasFlogg
Posted
34 minutes ago, Myrtz said:

And I have it on very good authority that Dom school is an actual real place.......

I have very strong indications that it actually is babe ;-)

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Posted

Well...what a really good post....Everyone has mentioned really good advice....There is not alot more than I can add.....Be careful....How you describe yourself and what you are looking for , needs to be very clear..No matter what website you go to, you will find yourself in a situation where you will have to filter all the messages, offers you get...Chat online....get to know as much as possible about who interests you...then meet at a neutral place...DO  Not go alone....Go by your first instinct when you meet someone...females have a much better first instinct....use it.!...Never have a first meet on your own..!!!!!...Be totally honest in what you hope to find and what you are looking for....There will be someone out there that will satisfy your needs...but be careful and use your unique feminine instinct to guide you...Do not be tempted by promises...!...Anyone can promise anything if it will fulfil their own desires at the expense of yours...Cassie

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Anah
Posted

I would do some research about munches before you jump into attending one. I would recommend attending one with a friend rather than going on your own. 

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