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Jayman191

Is she into it?

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Posted (edited)

Hello

I'm new to the BDSM community, though I've expressed an interest in it for some time. That being said I suppose the reason I finally came to a forum site as well I've expressed my interest in BDSM with my fiance' and have attempted to get her to open up to it all. This being said her remarks are almost always the same. "I'll try it." This was fine at first when we did mild experimentation with BDSM. Now that we have tried a few BDSM elements, handcuffs, toys, blindfolds, whips, belts etc. Her reaction is still the same. "I'll try it." I cannot seem to get her to tell me if she is really into it or not. If she isn't It's fine I can live without, no harm, however, I just need to know where she and I stand on this. I suppose what I'm asking is, is she really into it?

Edited by Jayman191
Posted
I think the fact that you're getting the same answer to the same question says it all.. have you tried asking a different question? Instead of saying, "do you want to try.." maybe say "hey, when we tried that thing, did you enjoy it, what did/didn't you like about it, would you like to do it again?"
  • Like 3
eyemblacksheep
Posted

I guess - use the exact same words here, to her.  Which I appreciate can be difficult.

 See if there's anything she'd particularly like to try.  Maybe take her to a munch to meet others and couples to see how they do things and differ.

Posted
Maybe she’s too shy to actually state what she would like. How about putting 3 items out & asking her which one she would like to use first or in which order she would like to use them, this will add a different element to your play but also give you an idea of what she does like. Or giving her the task of buying a toy for herself of a form of restraint. That way again she’s getting what she likes but it’ll also require her to look at different things & get more comfortable in opening up. Try having a code word for bdsm play & a code word for vanilla & ask her to choose, that way she isn’t confronted with having to say things outright

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