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Big_Graham

New to the scene

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Posted

Evening. I’m new to the scene and after a vanilla relationship I’m wanting to explore all aspects of pleasure/pain. Any advice?

cheers

  • Like 2
eyemblacksheep
Posted

But, for most fetishes there are two core routes.

Route number 1.  Relationship building.   Go to munches and events, get to know people.  Make friends.  Remember that having guy friends are just as valuable as lady friends : basically a peer support.  Remember nobody is going to leap at the opportunity to do your fetish with you - but as you build friendships and trust then over time there might be someone who is interested in helping you out via either a one-off, a relationship or some form of regular play.  But, of course, it's always important to ensure you are interested in friendship first, fetish second.

this takes time, comes with no guarantees - but is worth it.

or

Route number 2.  Pay a Professional.   Find a professional who offers fetishes/fantasies close to yours and message her respectfully saying this is your fetish, would she do it with you - if so, you'll arrange a date and deposit.

Experience or lack of overall comes second fiddle to attitude, providing of course you're honest.

  • Like 2
Ol_Sparky
Posted
Agree with a lot of what Black Sheep says though I'm not fond of so called pros, for me it ends in 'titute' .... But welcome to the 'life' and good luck!
Posted
Morning...like @eyemblacksheep says munches are a great place to meet like minded people. Fetish’s clubs are a fantastic eye opener to see what goes on & gain some experience. They’re just like normal clubs with drinking & music but with play going on behind the scenes. And of course being on here, seeing the different stuff people put, different fetishes etc chatting to different people I personally think bdsm is a bit like ‘a career’ you can only gain experience over time & by trying out different people & different places. There’s no ‘quick way’ to explore (although some on here think that sending a sexual message or asking for money in the first 3seconds is the way forward) it’s a fantastic, exciting & open world to be part of but you also have to accept that many already know what theyre looking for so if you get a refusals along the way don’t take it personally just keep persevering. We’re all different & all want different things, that’s what makes us all so wonderful so for now stick with us & welcome to our fantastic world.
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