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orion262

latent kinkster?

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orion262
Posted

Hello,

I am new here and kind of looking for some advice.  Even since I was very young, I was always attracted to kink, but I did not know what that was.  Over time, I vaguely was attracted to anything having to do with kink, and I attended parties where kink was available, but did not participate.  I find more and more over time, my fantasies are centered around bondage, spanking  and feathers.   I don't know what it is with the feathers thing.  The other day, I overheard a conversation of men using the words slut and whore, and while it should have been offensive, I got incredibly turned on my hearing a man say the words slut and whore.  I got ridiculously wet just standing there.  In my fantasy later on, I climaxed over hearing the man's voice in my head saying these words.  One of the best experiences of my life was being spanked during sex, it caused me to climax.  I feel like I want to deny my feelings but I can't seem to get rid of the fantasies. :like I should stay vanilla or that I am afraid to try.  One time during  sex a man called me a whore and it was a turn on.  I also sometimes have lesbian fantasies about bondage and like to watch videos about feather play.  I don't know what is getting into me or am I a latent kinkster?

orion

eyemblacksheep
Posted

this all seems perfectly reasonable

it may be like you say you're finding out what makes you tick - and that can be a good thing

Posted
Why stay vanilla when you could be chocolate chip I came into the scene 10 years ago parties and event you could try and then if you don't like it you could stop
Posted
Perhaps allow yourself to further explore online. Chat with people to get more reactions. How far will you allow your imagination to wander? What else is within the closed passageways of your mind? Enjoy your exploration.
  • Like 1
orion262
Posted

I think the main thing that stops me is fear, in that I would really have to trust the person I'm with, but that takes time.  There are some activities I know I would not want to do, and I would not want to be compelled to do them.  If I found someone who would respect and enforce limits I would be wiling to try.  I think the activities I'm interested in are more lightweight on the whole, but I don't want to do anything that induces fear or panic because of other issues I've had.  I had a boyfriend restrain me without my permission or without prior discussion, and it was panic attacks the whole next day.  Not cool.  He was not a great partner anyway.  Maybe need someone with experience.  I guess I'm also afraid I might be a tad bisexual, but this is not my dominant orientation. 

  • Like 1
lugnut
Posted

Hi,

I play withy my wife for 20 years and if anything she holds back a bit. She is not a natual Domme but still likes to play. I trust her 99.9%. The other 0.1% is if she makes a silly mistake through lack of knowledge and does some serious harm. I think that very unlikely and certainly would not be intentional. Anyway, I would think that taking your time in meeting somebody is the best you can do. If you go to munches and clubs, get to know the people there, you should get to learn who you can trust. If you meet somebody outside of the kink scene as I did, the same applies.time leads to trust. Start slowly, lightly tied wrists in ribbon and build up from there, a bit of light spanking etc. There are some freaks out there I am sure but most people are decent and honest, and I think you get a fair idea about people quickly. If anything, Mrs LugNut is a bit too careful and does not push the boat out enough but I guess it is better that way.

As for enforcing limits, that is part of the scene as are safe words. If you can't agree on limits and safe words then stay away! evrything must be consentual and you must be able to opt out at any time. Bisexual is fine, why not? I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder as well as other mental health problems. I need to trust who I play with otherwise panic could take over. A little bit of fear is fun. All out panic is not cool as you say. Take some time, meet people, learn about who you are with and have fun.

LugNut.

Posted

Life is too short to deny yourself anything that is obtainable.

But as others have said stay safe. 

Posted
You should head over to APEX and just lurk during one of their Dungeon nights. Get a feel for it and get more comfortable. The group there makes it real easy, getting in your car and walking through the door is the hardest part.

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