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Posted

I am 3 months into a ldr online ds relationship. This is my first and since I have nothing and no one to compare it to, I have no idea if he is a good Dom or a wannabe. He seems a little laid back in some ways. I like him a lot and we seem compatible. I know it's an objective issue but what are the hallmarks of a strong proper Dom?

Myrtz
Posted
What has he been like? What is making you question him....don't get me wrong, I think you're right to get more info, just would help give advice. I've not done online only, but I am currently in my first D/s relationship and my Dom is awesome so happy to help 😊
  • Like 3
Posted
One of the questions you need to ask yourself is are you happy & contented with how things are between you. You say you like him & seem compatible, while that goes a long way & counts for a lot, is that enough for you? Are you wanting or expecting more from him? Do you want to push yourself further? Is he an experienced Dom himself? Maybe as he knows this is your first relationship of this kind he is being overly considerate towards you, not wanting to push to too much too soon, holding back if he's not sure you'd be comfortable with more. Maybe this is all he's comfortable with. Maybe he is a bit of a pretender. I don't know. I think if you are wanting or expecting more it is a discussion you need to have with him to either let him know or to find out what's what. If you're still feeling unsure or not entirely happy don't be afraid to seek alternatives or to move on all together. I hope this is of some help to you x
  • Like 2
eyemblacksheep
Posted

Doms differ.

Sorry, but that's the simplest answer.  

If you're happy enough with the relationship then nothing else really matters.

Deschaine
Posted

Seeing as the issue i can pinpoint is he’s laidback in some ways, which leads me to think you want him to be more dominant in some ways, my thoughts are keep talking and seeing where it goes, the more comfortable you both are together the more sub/dom you will act around eachother.  If that’s what you both truly want it will happen

 

best of luck :)

  • Like 1
Posted
On 13/06/2018 at 1:29 PM, Myrtz said:

What has he been like? What is making you question him....don't get me wrong, I think you're right to get more info, just would help give advice. I've not done online only, but I am currently in my first D/s relationship and my Dom is awesome so happy to help 😊

I

Posted
On 13/06/2018 at 1:29 PM, Myrtz said:

What has he been like? What is making you question him....don't get me wrong, I think you're right to get more info, just would help give advice. I've not done online only, but I am currently in my first D/s relationship and my Dom is awesome so happy to help 😊

Well...one issue is he says he's not heard of subspace! Even if have and I'm new to this. Also he's hard to wind up...just tells me I'm cute. Which is true..but not what I want to hear

 

Myrtz
Posted

Hmmmm, the subspace one is odd, I personally would have thought he'd have heard of it and more importantly subdrop as if you experience that you will need to know he is there for you in some way.

The winding up, may be he's not used to a brat?

Posted

This is interesting Idgie, I'm in a D/s power exchange dynamic,  Sir is very experienced,  I'm not.  From the outset Sir directed my learning and sought to help me learn through sign posting me to articles to read. It sounds like your Dom could do some more research,  maybe ask if you could do some research and share with him your findings.  If you look on submissive guide and dominant guide,  both online you may find some writing that will assist you both.

Good luck

🔥

  • Like 3
callipygian
Posted

I think it is good that you ask the question.... but maybe also ask it of him as well?

Then it comes down to your feelings on the relationship, and as stated above are you happy / content with it and where it is going.......

 

  • Like 1

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