Jump to content
Rickrozay

Good ways to get started

Recommended Posts

Rickrozay
Posted

Looking for ideas on how to meet like minded novices in the community 

eyemblacksheep
Posted

slight concerned/confused about why you specifically seek a novice?

MsJax
Posted

@eyemblacksheepfrom the little information on the profile I think its just for support , newbie looking for newbie friends perhaps..but I agree with you, makes no sense that a newbie would seek advice or information from another newbie..*shrugs* sometimes people baffle me.

eyemblacksheep
Posted

I was thinking earlier, there's ways where it can be a little challenging.

"I'd like to meet someone experienced to help me" - "Ok, why are they gonna give up the time of day?"

"OK, I'd like to meet someone inexperienced to learn with" - "For god's sake that's a bad idea"

-

So, I dunno.  Some static advice on where to start.   Just by creating a profile on a site like this, you have began.  Read some of the articles, read some of the forum posts - get a little knowledge.

To meet people within the community the simple answer is to go to the community.  Well done, you met people.  Leeds/W.Yorkshire I know to be a bit of a hot bed of munches and events and you're neither that far from Manchester, another hotbed, or the North-East (could be better here, but we have some good stuff) 

Something that I think is a shame to not be better is that it is difficult to find these events - munches in particular don't show up so much on google (although there is a 'munch finder' page there) and on websites like this it's at the mercy as of who has posted them : so in the North-East there's about 11 different munches and 3 events, but only 3 munches and 1 event list here. (And, I say that - I run Sunderland munch and have had precisely ZERO people attend from this website, compared to the 20-30 from elsewhere.  So, you can understand why organisers don't sign up to list) 

  • Like 1
SirPiggy
Posted
Maybe because a novice seeking a novice starts on a clean page (so to speak) where they learn from each other and with each other with no pressure involved.
Jtits
Posted

Im new and would love some guidance x

Rickrozay
Posted

Like mentioned above it would less daughting so to speak with two people learning the ropes together 

Posted

So most of us newbies are willing to learn - and likely looking to stretch our boundaries.

Can see why an experienced Dom would take on a new sub, but would many experienced subs see much for them in linking with a new Dom?

  • Like 1
eyemblacksheep
Posted

an experienced sub may see the appeal in an inexperienced Dominant if there's scope to Top from the bottom, i.e. mould them into a dispenser for their kinks.  Which I know some have done or tried, particularly in F/m.

I'm not particularly as sure for M/f so to speak - but I think a lot is genuinely contextual.   I still feel I was relatively inexperienced the first time I did play as a Dominant with a f-sub (other than my wife) and she knew this, but then we had been friends for about 6 months first with (presumably) no intention to eventually play together.

There's been two inexperienced F Dominants I know I've offered to help - but then in itself that's not so much for our relationship (although it may not do any harm) but to help them with their own aspirations. 

Posted

Thanks for that eyemblacksheep 

I'm reading threads in various Forums, talking to friends and this site is a great help, but seems all D/s play varies a lot.

If it's difficult to see what a new Dom might offer an experienced f-sub, then a new Dom might seek a new sub. If it works, great - but risk that neither really knows what they're doing... and certainly lots of misrepresentation of BDSM out there. 

  • Like 1
eyemblacksheep
Posted

the most important factor to remember is that there's no one strict right way (albeit, lots of wrong ways)

Something that made me smile recently - I was in Germany the other week and one of the Ladies I was with was with a sub owns and whom has served her for 6 years.  I was not there 'in service' to her, but she is someone I have been spending time with and intend to in the future : I'll keep the back story trim for my point.  Anyway, the dynamic of the two of them made me smile, but was very different to mine and hers.  "She shouts at you a lot less", her sub joked with me.  But then he has a kind of mischievous/bratty demeanour - so I smiled, "Yeah, but you love it"

When I started Dominanting my wife - we were both pretty new - but - there were a lot of things we did in a parallel - going to munches, meeting others in similar boats, going to events and playing and watching others play, going to workshops - so forth... and that in itself was a much better way to learn together than going in with each other blind.

  • Like 1

×