Are subs allowed limits?

[Deleted Member]

Of course you can have limits.Thescene with your Dom is by mutual consent.Doms&subs use a safe word in case either overstep the limit.If your dob chooses not to accept your limits you need to leave.Good luck.x

[Dearelliot]

I think the first answer is No! but the reality is yes.. I think for a  person to be submissive you must first accept the fact that you don't have the right to set limits, that is up to the person in charge, not you!  

But of course in reality limits are necessary,  but a good Dom will stretch the envelope slowly, yet accept the subs limits.

. For example, would I visit a Domme who told me bring her my paycheck then go outside and masturbate then go home until next payday. Well that wouldn't work for me,  

 

 

[Mollysdailykiss]

On 7/4/2018 at 9:04 AM, sammyb45 said:

Slave = no limits , submissive can choose her own limits and boundaries , any true Dominant will respect those particularly during intial conversations . Sounds like you are both slightly inexperienced , perhaps chat to other submissive and Doms and explore . Also maybe some reading about roles within ds relationship will definitely help. Certainly sounds like he is looking for a Slave .

Even a slave has their limits. No one is going to consent to be having limbs removed or being killed or killing someone.... there are ALWAYS limits

[Deleted Member]

17 hours ago, Dearelliot said:

I think the first answer is No! but the reality is yes.. I think for a  person to be submissive you must first accept the fact that you don't have the right to set limits, that is up to the person in charge, not you!  

But of course in reality limits are necessary,  but a good Dom will stretch the envelope slowly, yet accept the subs limits.

. For example, would I visit a Domme who told me bring her my paycheck then go outside and masturbate then go home until next payday. Well that wouldn't work for me,  

 

 

To me, a limit is something a person sets for themselves, always. So any Sub has and sets their own limits. The Dom then works within those, possibly pushing soft ones in a way that they enjoy and takes the control away from the submissive partner.  So we may well be agreeing here, but the use of language is different. 

[MrDarcy45]

For me, the whole fun of being a Dom is working within my subs limits and exploring exactly what the boundaries are in a fun and exciting way. A big part of aftercare is finding out what are hard and soft limits as you get to know each other.

Anyone who tells you that subs can't have limits is to be avoided IMO.

[Dearelliot]

The extreme pleasure I feel from my submissive role with a Femdom comes from the feeling I get by telling her I belong to her. As she holds my testicles in her hand gently squeezing, reminding me, I like the thought that she decides my limits, and that I have no will at all in the matter. For me that's where my pleasure comes from. I am afraid of her and respect her superior  position over me. I wouldn't want the word limits to enter into our conversation. I would only be with a woman who knows my limits  or at least when they have been reached and she knows how to play me at the time. I have known Dominant men, and women who have a sadistic streak and I be careful with strangers until we have developed a rapport. 

Of course I have limits. everyone should

 

[Deleted Member]

Just a quick comment here but most definitely YES! I personally was introduced to the BDSM scene by someone who clearly didn’t have a clue about what it meant to be a Dom and simply wanted total control and to inflict the maximum amount of *** and damage.  I was co-erced into signing a contract very quickly and was then told my ‘hard limits’ no longer applied.  Sorry but bull poop! 

I was lucky, that farce ended early on and I’ve since met someone wonderful on here who is teaching exactly what a real Dom is and has even opened my eyes to the fact I’m actually switch! 

Dont ever let anyone say you can’t have limits, as long as they are understood and you both agree to them you should have hours and hours of fun ahead of you.  If you are approached by someone saying you have no limits as a sub - walk away because they clearly have no respect for the gift you are willing to give them (your submission)

[Ze****]

Yes. You can have limits. I try and find out very early what the sub's limits are. And I keep to them when playing. They are important to the sub and because of that important to me. I know how far I could go if needs be. You can discuss the reasons for thse limits if you want, but don't let anybody exceed them.

[Deleted Member]

Yes. Otherwise how can it be a consensual relationship?

 

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Is there anywhere in here stuff to read for me to know what "slaves" do/don't compared to sub's?!?

[ey****]

3 minutes ago, TransSwitchUk said:

Is there anywhere in here stuff to read for me to know what "slaves" do/don't compared to sub's?!?

I can't external link - but a couple of googles on "sub vs slaves" brings up other opinions and common tropes.

for me a lot is very relationship specific - among anything else - what does the Dominant *want* from their sub vs their slave?

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, TransSwitchUk said:

Is there anywhere in here stuff to read for me to know what "slaves" do/don't compared to sub's?!?

just  type slave on the browse menu, there are a few articles about it. If you need to know more open a new thread, its not fair for the op to have her question displaced....

[Deleted Member]

You should have safewords and make sure that in any ds relationship, your hard and soft limits are known by the partner. 

The dom you are talking about does not seem like a real dom. If someone does not allow you to have limits, its better to block them.

Look up information about the role you want to have in a relationship and make sure to talk with your partner in extreme detail before gifting them your submission. Hope you find someone better soon. 

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Well presuming peeps are "slaves" as role-play and not being ***d ***d and "held under pressure" for real in real time they'd have limits too.....Didn't realise there was a #2 tier system?!? Sounds like slaves are the most at risk!! Real-time slavery even "mild" slavery is a form of brainwashing and it destroys peeps......which then leads to medical stuff like Ptsd.....

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, TransSwitchUk said:

Well presuming peeps are "slaves" as role-play and not being ***d ***d and "held under pressure" for real in real time they'd have limits too.....Didn't realise there was a #2 tier system?!? Sounds like slaves are the most at risk!! Real-time slavery even "mild" slavery is a form of brainwashing and it destroys peeps......which then leads to medical stuff like Ptsd.....

well since the op dissapeared from the radar and not interested in her question,

transswitchuk, not sure what you are talking about, slaves decide by themselves to be a slave, they dont get brainwashed? not many decide that kind of relationship and not many Dom choose them. The reason is, its a very difficult and demanding dynamic. But its a rewarding outcome for the slave and not destroying or ending with depression?? maybe if the slave is release, they become lost and feel depressed at the time but not from the relationship? Unless the slave made the mistake to choose the wrong Master but if its the case then he/she entilted to stop that abusive relationship. 

you have the wrong idea about slave/Master relationship 

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Can't find anything online to read about it?!? Why aren't slaves allowed limits when sub's clearly are?!? Know what real-time slavery is when you don't get a choice because it happened to me) where can I read about the Fetish kind?!?

[Deleted Member]

4 minutes ago, TransSwitchUk said:

Can't find anything online to read about it?!? Why aren't slaves allowed limits when sub's clearly are?!? Know what real-time slavery is when you don't get a choice because it happened to me) where can I read about the Fetish kind?!?

slaves got limits too, otherwise its real slavery and its illegal.

on the browse search  menu type slave....

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Its got a spyglass symbol?!? It thinks I want to search for dating types.....

 

[Deleted Member]

Type in slave, it brings you directly to a description of what it means to be a slave in the world of BDSM.