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Fimus

How do i get experience when experience seems to be required?

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Fimus
Posted

I often see people offering what I want (or close to) but, as soon as I talk, my own lack of experience seems to be off-putting. is there anything I need to put in my profile or ads that will attract people to get me the experience I need?

Posted
Reading your profile I find it really strange that you’re struggling as lots of Doms like inexperienced subs as they love to train them their way!? Bdsm is a pretty tricky path to find those who match us & what we’re looking for so it’s a case of perseverance . The other option is to attend fetish clubs, you’ll often be allowed to join in in the play areas but you don’t have to you can simply observe. Either will gain you experience & knowledge to find out more about your own likes & dislikes. Munches will help you meet like minded others, there’s one once a month in Coventry. And simply hanging round here talking to people etc will help. You will find what you’re looking for you just have to stick with it
  • Like 2
eyemblacksheep
Posted

The experience paradox can be a pain - but in kink there's clear options.

Without wanting to repeat BigPolly word for word - pretty much that - you gain experience in real life, meeting people talking to them - and it may be trust needs to be built before people are willing to play, but, you know - when you get to know people it's much easier to say "I'd like to try...", "Can you help me..." so forth.

A quicker option is to consider paying a Pro, there's quite a few good ones in the Midlands - either who live/are regular there or tour there - and if you approach with a view point of you're exploring and want to find out what you like - but there's certain things you'd like to try first, most would entertain that.  

However, some people frown on this option - but, I dunno, it gets what you want and is cheaper than a few failed dates.

Regardless - consider either route.

  • Like 2
3SumQueen
Posted

I'm dominant and prefer experienced people who know what they want, i tend to prejudge and see anyone else as just wanting to dabble but your profile does not come across as dabbling and that you do know what you like so that's a positive so not sure why being inexperienced is putting people off. If at least people are talking to you that's also a positive as that's the first step to getting to know anyone.

Agree with both the above on getting out and about to meet people and paying is a viable option.

  • Like 1
Fimus
Posted
I appreciate all the responses and the encouragement, including some private advice that has been especially helpful for when I deal with approaches

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