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New to Forum; Need Non-Typical Advice

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Posted (edited)


This may be a rather strange request as I am not really a BDSM/Kink person.  However, I am in need of a bit of advice ... maybe a bit of pointing me in the correct direction ... and after a lot of Googling/searching I am unable to find what I actually need, so it's time to ask for a bit of guidance.

Again, I'm not really into the kink, but I do have an issue.  Please bear with me while I explain.

I am a disabled veteran (100% service connected) confined to a wheelchair.  I have a spinal cord injury (SCI) at C5-C6 in my neck.  This is not a complete break, it'd be closer, in theory, to a large short circuit in an extension cord to put it in laymans' terms.  While I am considered a quadriplegic I am not actually a "true" quadriplegic.  The paralysis affects different parts of my body differently.  As an example: the left leg is essentially useless, but I have about 50% power in the right leg.  Enough so that I can actually stand for a minute or two with the aid of a walker or special crutches. It also affects my arms and hands, and the trunk of my body in varying degrees.  

The biggest two issues (and the reason that I am here now) are an extremely limited ability/dexterity with my hands and fingers (I can't grip anything or close them ... the hands and fingers are sort of flopped open), and the inability to achieve an orgasm.  The problem is that if you divide my penis lengthwise the entire left side feels like pins and needles, and the entire right side has reduced sensation.  Couple that with certain groups of muscles inside my body that are no longer able to contract.  (EDIT: I guess I should add in here that I don't have an issue achieving and maintaining an erection ... just in case someone asks about that.)

Recently I've been reading some studies about people with SCI being able to achieve orgasm by using electro-shock (TENS type) units.  One study found that more than 88% of men with damaged spinal cords were able to finally achieve a felt orgasm this way, after years of trying other methods without success.  So I've been researching gear/toys in this particular area for a few days and am having a bit of trouble.  This is something I'm not particularly comfortable discussing with my current doctors or nurses, and, after a bit of discussion with my girlfriend, we decided that the anonymity of a message board/forum might be a good place to start. 

The two biggest problems:

1.  I'm a bit hyper-sensitive to electricity now.  So I'm looking for a base unit that is very intuitive and has the absolute lowest possible current settings.  I'd rather spend my money on something that is to weak, and work my way up, than buy something that sends me into uncontrollable body spasms the first time I try it.

2.  Ease of use.  Please remember the whole explanation of my hands/fingers.  I don't have the ability to just pull a rubber ring open or snug a cinch down.  Even velcro is a royal pain, especially getting it apart once it's stuck together.  And sticky pads have those little plastic films that I can't get ahold of at all, plus you have to continually replace those.  And, my girlfriend won't always be there to help.

Any thoughts, guidance, or just general ideas would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance,


Edited by DrainBamaged
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  • Like 2

Hello fellow spine injured person. I have stenosis in my cervical and lumber regions along with some prolapses in the latter. I don't have the same issue as you sexually but i do have experience with tens machines.

I have used just a normal tens machine as i thought it would help with pain so my only advice is if you try one to only do it for short periods at first until you're certain you aren't causing more damage. How they work is by contracting the muscles, think i caused some damage the last time i used one as the pain went while using it but was a lot worse the next day.

Most small tens units are really weak i've noticed and can be turned up or down and faster or slower and some even have different rhythm settings, you can get units with gel pads that you don't need to apply gel to and can re-use. The stickiniess might be too strong for you though, i'm not sure, but if you get a cheap one at least you haven't wasted much money or will be able to use it with your gf. I would just look online for very cheap units with re-useable pads, there's several different types but they do pretty much the same things, i paid £10 for mine brand new off ebay and the pads have lasted ages, the replacements are cheap also.

I would try and get comfortable with talking about this stuff with a medical carer though as there may be other medical things they know about or people you could be referred to who may be able to help further.

  • Like 2
I hav a best friend with a spinal cord injury and found this while researching how to best please him. http://www.newmobility.com/2016/02/the-ejaculation-affirmation/ You may already know about it. Within the article it gives you a forum for a large group of veterans that share their information on using different types of units (electrosex) in order to reach full orgasm. It is a really thorough article covering everything you will need to know and the vet forum is a great resource of males and females that have already gone through what you are going through.(picking tens units etc....). Good Luck!!!
  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

I actually read that yesterday evening while trying to find more information, but thank you.  Any, and all, help is appreciated.

Edited by DrainBamaged
Edit to remove quote box.