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MistressC

On financial domination, and those who f*ck it up.

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Posted

First and foremost, let me say - I am NOT exclusively a findomme. In fact, it's only recently that I have begun to employ this tactic, at the request of a (surprising) number of pets. And though I must say I do enjoy it, I think I've worked out why so many pets are requesting it directly from a domme they already trust, rather than fishing through the sea of "fauxdommes", who - in all likelihood - don't really get it. 

 

I've been having a look through this site, and others like it, and on Twitter and elsewhere, and have seen comical levels of desperation from "quick buck" and/or completely feckless "findommes". Forum posts like "Now accepting new pay piggies", and "Pay me what I deserve, you filthy pigs", etc and so forth. And, though they're bloody *everywhere*, I am at least pleased to see that very few of them have any replies. Why? Because the ploy is obvious and not a little distasteful. And frankly, it's just not sexy.

 

The thing is...this whole scene is about trust. It's about establishing a trusting, safe space, where both parties can feel vulnerable, and explore their deepest desires. And yes, I do include the domme in here because - if she's worth her "price" - she's working pretty hard to come up with creative ways to "torture" her pigs (or pets, as I call them), without completely destroying them. A domme who only takes from her subs, without regard for outcome, or for their wellbeing, is not a domme - she's a bad human.

 

And THAT is not a woman deserving of worship. Not in my book anyway. 

 

A proper domme should be demanding but, ultimately, kind. Which isn't to say that she will work for free, or that she will not bring a pet to the absolute edge (within his limits), but it means that she always engages in aftercare (unless the arrangement is otherwise), and never EVER takes more than her pet can reasonably (or even at a stretch) provide. I wonder when those who are just after a quick buck, or those who take without regard, will learn how to be a mistress *worthy* of worship, and therefore, don't need to post such ridiculous things on the internet, because they men come to *them*.

 

And it's not just the dommes who are fucking up the game. On the sub side - please do NOT expect your mistress to work for free. To begin to "take you over" with no incentive or demonstration of willing. Her time is as valuable as your kink, and the relationship should be one of mutual pleasure, right from the start. And, frankly, if your kink really is paying for the pleasure of a woman's attention, well...a small gesture to demonstrate your willingness to serve ought to give you as much pleasure as it gives her. Certainly don't empty any bank accounts within the first few messages, but a small token of intent gets things off to a proper start. Again - mutual trust is key. And it has to start somewhere.

 

Anyway. I just wanted to put some thoughts down. Feel free to disagree if you must. But please...be kind. Here and everywhere else.

  • Like 13
Acidic
Posted
Very well said!
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Posted
Honestly I’ve not read anything that speaks such volume as this on here, I see so many of them on here and I fear that they are here for the wrong reason, they don’t care about the kink it’s self but just as a means to make money, and I feel it really discourages people from the site, myself included... it’s a mutual thing that a lot of these ‘findommes’ can’t quite grasp. It sheds a bad light on the ones who do it in a creative manor and the ones who work hard. I have always wanted to say something but didn’t want to seem like I’m hating on a kink.
  • Like 1
Posted

@DatBoy95 Exactly. Financial domination fetish is a thing, and its totally legitimate. It just needs to be done in the right way, and I fear that so many "faux dommes", or people (men and women) who are just looking for fast and easy cash, are going to put off those who really do have this fetish (and should be allowed to explore it). Similarly, some subs use the request as a ploy for attention (as happened to me recently), but when asked for an initial tribute (which I was *very clear* need only be a gesture - NOT the emptying of a bank account), disappeared. If you're really into being financially dominated, the first tribute is perhaps risky, but also should be pleasurable...for both of you.

  • Like 1
Posted

Couldn’t agree more! There is a legitimate following to the kink and people who don’t admire/appreciate the dedication that’s put in it does somewhat destroy the legit ness of it... sad really hope this topic gets spoke about more and hopefully something gets done about those specific accounts 😊

  • Like 1
Keiransfw
Posted

100% agree! As I am quite young people jump strait forward into putting me into that category and it's frustrating. People like that ruin it for people like us, who understand and appreciate the sub/Dom relationship properly and its almost as if there's a big fake in our kinky community just trying to make a quick buck. Thankfully most of us can actually spot them a mile away and men won't be chucking their money away to get called a few names..the enjoyment needs to come from both of you to have fun. It's not something you do for money or attention, it's something you do because you're into it and love it and shouldn't be another reason!😂

  • Like 1
Posted

Mistress c when I first came on this site the MISTRESS experience was exactly what I was looking for but due to time wasters and bullshitters and even my own ignorance  of the subject I was originally against it ,but now I have a deeper respect and far better understanding of the subject,and o now would choose to go down this route if as you so eloquently wrote about I could find a good Mistress in Scotland that was professional and not a rip off.

Regards.

  • Like 1
eyemblacksheep
Posted
38 minutes ago, TAINTEDLOVE941 said:

I could find a good Mistress in Scotland that was professional and not a rip off.

the most famous in Scotland is probably Megara Furie.  But I have a massive soft spot for Miss Marilyn.  

  • Like 1
Posted

eyemblacksheep well pal that means she is good if she gets your recommendation, I don't mind sharing if you don't,as always my friend I thank you for guiding me on this amazing world,before I came on here I think I watch too much Femdom porn and was very ignorant but thanks to yourself and many others on hear I'm learning every day.Respect my friend .

  • Like 1
eyemblacksheep
Posted

it's all about learning.

I've not met Megara but her reputation goes before her - Miss Marilyn I spoke to briefly at TG once - but we've spoke on and off online : we had talked about doing some filming together, but she's no longer doing "with sub" filming.   But, she is lovely.  

  • Like 1
Posted

eyemblacksheep

Ok my friend I will as always look into it , there's loads of fantastic profiles of MISTRESS on here, it's just finding a legit I'm serious about the sub experience,after reading and learning about the slave experience I'm still curious but could I commit mmm maybe I don't know thanks 

Pal

  • Like 1
eyemblacksheep
Posted

I don't want to derail this too much - but - I always have two forks of advice.

Firstly, many guys here and elsewhere are looking for a partner to do kinks with and that can be tricky and time consuming to even find someone where there's enough overlap.

Looking at the Pro route is a good way to explore kinks whilst potentially still looking for someone - but - it's easier if it's someone you can have confidence in, whether this is via the ability to vet or research them or whatever.

  • Like 1
Posted

Dead right my friend.

  • Like 1

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