Fetlife

[DeanOmic]

Hi guys, girls and all in between! 

 

I want to talk about Fetlife.

 

Is this something you use? Do you like it? Would you say it's helped you? 

 

I ask this due to hearing several conflicting stories, as we as my own experiences on there.

[SirPiggy]

I use Fetlife, i find it very helpful in what i need it for, yes ! There are certain cliques on there that do try and spoil but all in all it's fine.

[SotaZero]

Fetlife: is a community which helps with many who are isolated, limited resources, and social groups which is refreshing for those in need ...

[Desdemona]

I've been using Fetlife for many years, found it great for connection with fellow kinksters and for keeping up to date with information regarding events/munch meets and kink in general. Making friends and building a great group of like minded people to chat to its what makes it work. Don't get me wrong you get your odd idiots on there but that is no different to any other website.

[Deleted Member]

I like the group's there..it's easy to find information, advice and easier than here for finding people more local to you, for things like munches for example..mostly because it's bigger and more established..but..with that comes a lot more drama in some areas, but you can use it for free..or if you want longer streams and access to vids you can pay but you don't have to..it's not a dating site like this one though, and theres no chat function although messages go through very quickly so 1 to 1 conversation is easy.

[Deleted Member]

I have been a user of Fetlife for sometime & have found it a most useful & beneficial site. In my experience I have found it particularly useful for finding out about events that are local to me, aswell as putting me in touch with fellow kinksters & fetishists nearby, also befriending & communicating with those further afield. I also enjoy playing some of the games on there which is a feature of some of the forums As with any site, it can have its various issues & both pros & cons, but on the whole I have found it to be a particularly good site.

[Deleted Member]

Conversely to the other peeps I find it a mess of a site, it totally fucks with my ocd, It is good for munches but otherwise its grim to navigate and form meaningful friendships I find.

[Deleted Member]

I did have an account, but I deleted it. There will always be a minority of people that are into kink but are abusive, don't understand the basic concept of legal, safe, sane and consentual bdsm/kink that both people are comfortable with. Some guys have certain expectations due to me being a sub/masochist for example, which is controlling and creepy before I have had a chance to get to know the guy. A lot of people of all genders need to educate themselves about the basic principles of bdsm, kink, fetishes, a dominant/submissive relationship because they don't do aftercare which is very important and I think it could be potentially harmful to anyone like me that is already dealing with issues and *** in the past. My opinion is about the bdsm online communities and the way people behave online there isn't any bdsm related etiquette guidelines for the appropriate way to address people or show you are understanding and genuinely care about the wellbeing of the person(s) that people might want to have a relationship with, it should never be rushed, there should be no pressure to do anything that both people are not comfortable with. I think there are a lot of people on kink websites might be fake or have the intention to use and *** people it is a very delicate type of relationship to trust people, but obviously not everyone is abusive or has the same issues I have. There should be a age restriction, the ability to block unwanted messages or verbal *** especially if it involves nude photos, or there are *** people that are naive and inexperienced with sex, dating or kink there should be a index of information that explains different types of relationships, kinks, fetishes, different roles that people might want to know more about etc..

[ey****]

when I was first starting I found fetlife very helpful.

There was a lot I took from it, being it a case of finding advice and recommendations to take on board - and also many poor attitudes from guys who weren't getting what they want : it taught me not to be like that.

A lot of event organisers seem more exclusive to listing on FL - and of course it is terrible ettiquette to list events on here without the organisers knowledge (I've listed on behalf of 4 different organisers, all of which know) so, it does have the edge for events.

I also found that when I did start going to munches and events, that nearly everyone was on there to some degree and it built up a circle of friends, some of which I'm still friends with : some of which, well, people change.

5 years later, there's a lot about FL I don't really like - and some of those problems were pretty much always there.  A lot of the groups are unmoderated and often tirefires - some groups over populated by guys with their hands out bawwing "But why won't kink fall in my lap" whilst starting fights with any young Lady who is offering to sell socks (which, to be fair, is a poor business model on there.) 

There's a lot I've been grateful for, but, these days I end up getting more play through twitter than fetlife! 

[Deleted Member]

Its far bigger than here, more groups. more kinksters, so its comes with problems and drama. Just try it, depending where you live it could be helpful with munches

[Fimus]

I joined, offered an opinion (it was polite, btw), got my tweet removed by a moderator, so told them f**k off and deleted my account. It is mostly American, hideously difficult to navigate around and I got very little out of it the month I was there

[DomTD]

Like Fimus, I'd say it's not without its problems, I've never successfully engaged with anyone on there mainly because I don't see the point in doing so with people who are 1000's of miles away. There's very few British people on the site, and those that are British seem disinterested in even talking as friends or to share advise and tips. The one good thing I will say is that messaging is free, which can't be said for most fetish sites.

[Deleted Member]

I use fetlife mostly to keep up with friends I met on my local scene, some are people I've met in other online settings but very few are folks I only know from fetlife. It works well for finding events, keeping up with other kinksters and what they're doing.  But it's not a good platform for meeting people, in my opinion, and it has some real big problems with actually enforcing their TOU's. There are many, many cases of (mostly)women being harassed and ***d on FL and there's no recourse whatsoever. 

I'd not use it at all, but it is the best way to keep up with events that I know of.  And most convos with kinksters will involve being asked 'are you on fetlife?' it's definitely the default way to keep in touch, because it's been around and is established I reckon. 

 

[Deleted Member]

Fetlife has been around way longer and from my experience it a great deal more advanced and for me it's got a great deal more lifestyle focused people

.but it's harder to negotiate and stil has its huge share of wannabes and fakes as you find anywhere. 

Great for meets and events .

 

[ca****]

Funniest thing about fetlife is that there are so many kinky folk who live in Antarctica.

 

[Deleted Member]

I really like the forums on fetlife as well as this site. Both are good.

[Deleted Member]

I love fetlife but recently a lot of drama has been going on ,which means a lot of negativity