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Willow75

Aftercare

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Posted

Hi I was reading an article on here about finding your limits and it mentioned moving into your aftercare routine if you discover a new limit. I would like to know what's is ment by an aftercare routine, I'm assuming it's very intimate time between dom/domme and sub for reassurance etc.

Posted

Hi there! That's a good question. Aftercare varies but can include hugs, cuddles and being close. It can involve eating and drinking sweet things,being wrapped in a blanket or even just sitting and discussing a scene. 

 

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StarrLabs
Posted
It varies from person to person but my sub enjoys cuddles and watching a movie or show
Posted

My sub and I cuddle and I reinforce what went wrong to cause her punishment, I never push her limits unless she want to try, after subspace we talk, cuddle and enjoy each other

 

amy-black
Posted

For me I just need a few minutes of almost silent "come down", bit like a jet engine when it winds down.

My female kink buddy likes hugs and to just be held.

Guess like most kink, different for all.

 

Gman458
Posted

Helps to snuggle with them or just reassure them if trying new limits as you don’t wanna scare them I normally let them cum with out holding or with ease if they are trying new limits 

Posted

For me it’s a chance for both my sub and myself to centre ourselves and come back down to Earth. My after care has included making my sub tea and toast, chatting, watching tv. And after one session in which I had marked his body with words written in my lipstick, I gently washed it off. It was a quiet, sensual moment. I value my sub, I respect him immensely and aftercare is an opportunity for him to be reaffirmed of that. 

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Posted

Can someone tell me what the symptoms are of "subdrop"?!?

Is this fatigue or a downer after S&M activity's?!?

Posted
2 hours ago, YingYangRose said:

Can someone tell me what the symptoms are of "subdrop"?!?

Is this fatigue or a downer after S&M activity's?!?

It's different from sub to sub but it often includes fatigue, sadness, upset, tears, feeling down, weakness.  Generally it can be counteracted with self care and if possible some cuddles/reassurance from the Dom/top.  It can strike within minutes, hours or sometimes even days. It really is different for everyone. 

Posted

Wow really informative thread! Thanks guys. I haven't experienced sub space yet so no aftercare either. It all sounds so lovely and sweet. If you respect and care for each other after care would be a natural extension of that love and respect. I Dan imagine that these kind of acts really bring each other closer on another level. 

eyemblacksheep
Posted

just on that - you don't need subspace to need aftercare.   It can be that more is needed after subspace (the bigger the high, the bigger the drop) 

But, while there's obvious physical impacts.

Think of it like this, nobody really likes to go to work on a Monday after a weekend - especially so if it's been a really good weekend : maybe saw lots of friends, went to a cool gig or club or whatever - and there is obviously a 'high' associated with this and returning to work conflates the low, but none of these people had subspace.     Obviously, we kinda know when we're sat at our desks with mounting work thinking "ugh, I wish I was still at the gig" we can kinda do our own little aftercare maybe by sharing with friends what a good time it was and that we can't wait to do it again or having something else to look forward to. 

I'm not sure if my analogy makes full sense - but what I'm describing above is a fairly minute version of drop.   So regular weekend, sucks to be back to normality - exciting weekend, really sucks to be back to normality - above that....

In saying that, everyone's aftercare needs differ. 

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