Subs or Doms, who has the control?

[ey****]

limits are there to be worked within

if someone's limits are too strictly defined for your personal interests then they're not the sub for you.  I think the issue then becomes not "who is Domming who" but "how desperate is the Dominant?"

[Deleted Member]

I think the control lies with the sub assuming the Dominant adheres to the safe word.It's natural the sub would want to please it's Dom which is only right in a relationship.Personally my limit would mean no permanent *** and quite possibly no scat but id like to think if a Dom took care of me i would want to submit as well as agree to his needs.Mentally id like to think that with the right man id progress to slave and give up my rights and he would control me 24-7 in every aspect of my life.Does anyone else think this way?  thanks.

[SamLaraCroft]

I think it depends on the Dom and the sub couple, some Doms are very in control and won't stand for any disobedience at all, this takes a special kind of sub to comply, someone very masochistic in my mind and someone who has no desires or needs of their own. some Doms are very caring and considerate and like to reward their sub for pleasing them and being obedient, in this sense the sub can control the rewards if they express clearly how they want to be rewarded.

[chastityslavecaged]

On 1/24/2019 at 6:22 PM, miss_subalicious said:

So following a discussion in the lobby earlier I made the throw away comment that the control really lies with the sub. Which was opposed by a few on there. This then sparked mass debate in my own head so thought I’d write it down and reflect! Would love to hear others thoughts and views also 👍🏻

I am still fairly new to BDSM but I guess I had always thought this: That the sub sets the hard limits, and even if the choice is to relinquish all control, that it is still given initially and thus can be taken back.

A D/s relationship however, in my mind, is no different to any other, in that it is a partnership and so is a give/take on both parts. 

I guess there are ways the Dom exerts the control in a way where the sub has no choice or control, even to stop- denial for example. 

So if the Dom, for example chooses to not let their sub orgasm. Who has the control then?

Sorry for the ramble, it just felt like one of those mini moments of clarity I wanted to share 😄

 

chastity slave caged believes that once a slave surrenders itself it gives up total control.