New fetish kink ??

[Deleted Member]

its seems that recently here on fetish and other site too, a new breed of "subs" created a new fetish kink. Called the teasing and ghosting the Doms. 

they contact the Dom saying how they like their profile or ask for  guidance, then engaged in chat then just stop. Either block or ignore the Doms without any explanation. I know subs change their mind or are entitled to stop comms, but say it before doing it. I read how subs complaint about Doms using subs and jump from one sub to another one. 

The issue is that nobody trust anybody anymore, its not funny, its not a game. Maybe we need a new label for subs like that...

[saphy]

We do 😂 "velcro collars" lol

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, saphy said:

We do 😂 "velcro collars" lol

whar are you on about?? you dont know me so how dare you called me velcro collar ?

Edited February 27, 2019 by Deleted Member

[saphy]

Yeah I think you read that wrong FabSeverus....you said "maybe we need a new label for subs like that"...hence my response. Not the first time and it won't be the last time I've had dealings with 'submissives' who don't take the lifestyle seriously. My comment was NOT a reflection on you.

[saphy]

Those who continuously jump from one Dom to another with zero sense of respect, commitment or longevity or vice versa, those who jump from one sub to another with the same lack of integrity are known from site to site as 'velcro collars'. It wasn't a reflection on You. I hope now that makes sense and I've relayed it in more depth than my op.

[Deleted Member]

oh  sorry, usually its  me people misunderstand saphy, the thing is they dont even want to be collared or having any D/s relationship but just quick attention seeking then jump onto another one. A bit like crabbies I guess 

I would make a collar made with nettles for them to be honest!

[Ra****]

It's a complicated mess. I get Doms that stop speaking with me as well, out of nowhere. I had a Dom I was with never speaking with me again after I was with him. It's people we are talking about and some aren't that great.. It can be frustrating for all of us. I guess it will all be worth it when you find your sub.

[saphy]

1 hour ago, FabSeverus said:

oh  sorry, usually its  me people misunderstand saphy, the thing is they dont even want to be collared or having any D/s relationship but just quick attention seeking then jump onto another one. A bit like crabbies I guess 

I would make a collar made with nettles for them to be honest!

I understand the frustration Fab! It's not that, behaviour like that is a poor reflection on those who work damn hard and commit full heartedly. It ruins the initial trust development because people are continuously cautious 😠😠 frustrates the life outta me! On another site we made it mandatory to 'name and shame' those who did so...but to be fair to the fetish site....the other site I was on was PURELY lifestyle. So their behaviours broke etiquette and the tenants the lifestyle is built upon. I'd encourage to do the same here BUT this is a fetish site where the umbrella spans quite wide. Just be vigilant is all I can advise in future 😊 I wish you well. 

[Deleted Member]

Really? I don't even get approached. If I want to meet a Submissive, it is 100% effort from me

[Deleted Member]

Interesting topic.

Generally i expect to make the initial approch. A simple "not interested" reply would certainly be helpful. 

The sudden stopping of communication seems to be quite normal in our world by both Dom and sub. I guess it just goes with the turf. Personally I try not to be worried about it and would certainly never do it to a sub. If I don't think there is compatibility I'll say so and I have great respect for those who do the same when messaging.

Mind you I have had a few spanks from people who never message. 😁

Edited February 27, 2019 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

Thanks Littlefellow ahah and yes I rather not being spank too, not my kink ;) 

what I am talking about is the one who are into just teasing or attention seeking, and its getting more and more frequent than before, until last year you could communicate with subs, now we dont know exactely why they are coming here for. Same with instadom...

[LittleLyd]

Mmmm I agree. Hard to find honest subs we’re all frightened to hurt feelings I think. Sorry to hear you went through that though must be difficult x

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, Lillyd said:

Mmmm I agree. Hard to find honest subs we’re all frightened to hurt feelings I think. Sorry to hear you went through that though must be difficult x

I am not that hurt lilyd ;) its dissapointing and not good for the site. Also for the other subs who are really looking for a Dom. 

I know what you mean about frighten and its normal and you should be. But you will noticed when you are dealing wth a genuine Dom and not an ***r or a sexual predator.

 

[LittleLyd]

Well I’m glad you’re not hurt by it.. I know I would be if a Dom just left suddenly. 

It’s hard to diminish a lot of the time though.. especially with bad  experiences in the past! 

[Deleted Member]

57 minutes ago, Lillyd said:

Well I’m glad you’re not hurt by it.. I know I would be if a Dom just left suddenly. 

It’s hard to diminish a lot of the time though.. especially with bad  experiences in the past! 

I would never have  left you ;) unless you are a bratty one lol

[LittleLyd]

I can be a little bratty but that’s the fun 😝

[Oubliet]

Going ghost is what happens when someone gets too close... Some gotta follow unwritten rules. Some people can never let anyone in...

[Tillysub]

I will admit to ghosting at times but I do this under specific circumstances. If I’m talking to a “Dom” and he seems to only be interested in sex or sexual talk I will walk away. If he doesn’t have the respect for me to get to know me first why should I let him know I’m walking. This is only with new communications obviously, if a relationship has been going on a while it is a completely different kettle of fish. Treat others as you wish to be treated, if I feel disrespected I admit I sometimes disrespect back....I’m aware of this flaw and will endeavour to change it.

[Deleted Member]

I never talk sex within the first conversations with a potential sub, unless she instigate it.

as for the ones who contact me knowing there are no possible D/s relationship, and the way conversation is going, confusion happen and can be interpretated wrongly. If any got the proof that engaged in sexual manner during communication, you are free to post it here. 

Now what I was referring is the ones who only contact Dom for some attention and flattering