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Dominated by the right one.


Shaunslave

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Posted

It has always been a fetish of mine to be dominated by a woman and have the roles reversed. Growing up I always thought I was alone, I was relieved to find that I was not. At this point it is hard to find a mistress or someone who will consensually share the same like. I have met pro Dom's but always pricey and leaving me wanting more. How on earth do you find someone wanting to explore this and safely. 

Posted

I often think a first thought is never to feel too much about it being "role reversal"

Something I read a while ago pointed out some of the misogyny in Femdom in the sense that men believed themselves to be the superior sex and so almost being Dominated by a woman was "taboo" 

If you go in with this belief or attitude you will fail.

Pro-Domme, well, they're at least being compensated for your lack of understanding - but I don't feel the majority of women would.

And, incidentally of course Pro-Dom leave you wanting more - if they left you completely satisfied you wouldn't go back ;) So there's often a knack between doing what was agreed and making you wish to come back.

So, with the two points above combined - what it's important to do is simply not come across like you're seeing a Pro- session, for free.   This is something many men do and they pretty much all fail.

But, this is a learning game - and the above is part of your learning.

Posted
Check out fabswingers, quite a few female dommes looking for a submissive guy
Posted

Thankyou this is very insightful! Of course none is more superior, I have always looked upon the woman as divine feminine and in this finding my balanced masculine, I would say I have a lot to learn. Just where to start, I have tried a few sites im not the most confident of people but I guess the best outcome is to get out there with an open minded attitude.

Posted

Of course - learning is always important - both in your own knowledge, attitude, and how you come across.

One thing on where to start is you don't *actually* need a partner to start - there's a lot of learning can be done via reading.  Be it blog/magazine articles or people's forum posts etc.   Locla munches are often also a good resource for people to talk with.

Remember, the more knowledge you build the more your attitude will be in the right place which in turn boosts your chances.

The concept of "I just need a chance", "I just need to learn" is - well - there's a lot of guys say this and only so much hand-holding can be done.  

If there are certain things you want to learn or do, then there is often the option of a Pro, as you say - but also, there's a lot in what you can get out of those sessions linked to how clear it is what you want.  So, if you approach with potential activities, fantasies or fetishes you may get those - but if you approach with "I'm looking for help in being a more desirable sub" then some of the structure and mindset may change.  

Mistress_Rebeca
Posted

Good morning E/everybody in that discussion.

shaunslave, I think you should create your own domina/goddess/mistress. It is a sub, who really empowers the Dom, who creates the most beautiful and powerful being, a being who deserves to give it your life. First try to find a lady, who is attractive to you, somebody interesting, she may be even married etc. Then try to gain her sympathy and tease a little bit, but give her nothing real, just some jokes or messages, that part is the hardest one. When she starts to desire you, you may ask her if she like you, and try one day to lick her neck, very discreetly. If she doesn't scream on you, or slaps your face, you have got her. The next step is to propose her to dine or drink together, and so you can tell her you like very much to be spanked, not much than that. And here you can start to behave like a sub. She will get curious and would love to try. But don't let her yet! Continue to seduce her, to punt every now and then a little joke about how much you would like to be punished. And one day ask her straight if you can lick her wonderful pussy. Please... Please... with a brat smile. So if she will agree, just do it once, just licking and nothing more, till she cum. Preferable somewhere public: a parking or public bathroom, to finish it fast. And now i's her who will take the initiative, she will look for you, she will spank you, she will do everything you need. At the beginning it will be difficult for her, but every day she will find more pleasure and fun doing that. So she will became a real Dom, and you both, together, will push away her limits and yours also. But it is you, who will make her make you happy...

I wish you a good luck and remember, jokes, teasing around and small sexy gestures for the most of the ladies are much more important that long penetration or bunch of flowers.

Posted

If I were you I would take @eyamblacksheeps advice as the above reply is probably the quickest way to get locked up for public indecency Ive heard of!!

Posted
5 hours ago, MissTillysue said:

If I were you I would take @eyamblacksheeps advice as the above reply is probably the quickest way to get locked up for public indecency Ive heard of!!

not in France ;)

Posted
1 hour ago, FabSeverus said:

not in France ;)

Really? That hasn’t been my experience after spending a fair amount of time in France

Posted

I am French so I know my customs... 

Posted (edited)
20 minutes ago, FabSeverus said:

I am French so I know my customs... 

I bow to your local knowledge but I really don’t see sex in a public toilet as a way to woo a woman

Edited by MissTillysue
Posted

I'm not entirely certain customs in France are directly transferable to Hampshire, where the OP is from

Posted
58 minutes ago, MissTillysue said:

I bow to your local knowledge but I really don’t see sex in a public toilet as a way to woo a woman

Entirely with you in that one 😂 But still there is a niche out there... 

Posted
55 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I'm not entirely certain customs in France are directly transferable to Hampshire, where the OP is from

Not with the brexit 😜

Mistress_Rebeca
Posted

Hi again.

The issue is not about sex in a public toilet or about how to woo a lady. The issue  is about how to pervert a person, how to make her feel a desire and being desired, to mold her, to create her, the issue is a passion.  But I agree, it is not the quickest way nor the easiest one. First a sub has to know what he really wants.

But then imagine - having your own goddess... 

Posted

here we go again when the Dom is turned into a servant, who got no power or control? 

I know for a long time I am  this way and didnt need a sub to tell me I have that kind of power, or know how to make a sub get that sweet *** inside her. Most subs are new into bdsm and the one experience will sense it.

second creating your Dom is a bit like making a film and watching it after, you know all the tricks involved and how the scenes been done, no surprises no tensions no suspense. kind of bland then.

Posted

There is a loose essence I kind of agree with.

I mean, you can convert someone not presently into kink into kink - but this is a process with lots of challenges.

You can also kind of prove your worth to someone you wish to impress.

Imagine, for example, you are at any form of fetish event and there is someone you wish to make a positive impression on.

Even if it's a munch you can make demonstations for example helping keep the tables clear of glasses/clutter - helping fetch chairs, moving if someone else needs in.  And the old cliche of offering a drink.

Obviously, these are not pick-up events, but it can't do any harm demonstrating to her or others that you are proactively looking at ways to be helpful/useful.

-
I was at a fetish event the other week and watching guys floating between lady to lady looking for attention.

The person who seemed to get the most was the one carrying the foot lotion - already looking to be useful ahead of indulging his fetish.

And look, people remember him and talk about him.  They don't remember the other bunch of guys.

-
A lady I like wrote something on Twitter the other day, she said she doesn't really like guys in her inbox asking "what can I do" but instead prefers guys who have been proactive.

-
Obviously like a lot in life - putting in kindness coins and hoping for something to come out isn't a good trait.

But, if nothing else - some of this is a good habit to get in.
 

Posted
You definitely make a point there. I always do everything I can to help a person either getting a napkin if a guy has spilled his drink or whatever. It's not even trying or consciously doin it for impressing someone. It's honestly in my nature to do it. I like to serve. I don't know how a dominant woman feels when someone here asked what she would like them to do I definitely find that a turn off when the guy claims to be a Dom. Also hate guys asking me what I am into since I have put that in my profile. Or people asking for pics 2 minutes into the conversation.
Posted

years ago - I was at a fetish event that was Femdom - and I was there with friends so if anything ever got too much I had a fall back, but otherwise I was pretty free to do as I liked (within the confines of the event)

I got a little angry when I saw one of the bar staff struggling to get across the room with a tray of glasses - so I kinda pushed past a couple of guys standing derping and offered to help.

The downside of this is I ended up helping the bar most of the night haha - the upside of it was though I ended up making a new friend and we did do a little play at the end of the night.

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