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Wildbill0124

Going from vanilla to D/s

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Wildbill0124
Posted

My wife and I have been together for 6 years. We have at different times played with light bondage, spanking etc. We are now wanting to start a D/s lifestyle together. I'm not sure where to start or how to transition. Any help is greatly appreciated. 

eyemblacksheep
Posted

the beautiful thing is - what your D/s relationship looks like is valid and exclusive to you.  You don't need to do what anybody else does.

I guess questions are what DON'T you do now that you'd like to incorporate ?   Remember, one day at a time - and trial and error.

Sid636
Posted

First step would be talking about your likes, dislikes and limits. Research everything and make sure you both are on the same page. 

Then trying them out will help you determine what is good and whats not. But remember to take it slow, don't rush or be in a hurry it wont help in the long run. Please remember that consent and being safe are very important. 

Welcome to the community and hope you have fun. 

  • Like 2
Littlefellow
Posted

Talk and then more talk. 

Totally honest talk is essential. You need to be sure of what you both want and need. I know it's called D/s but it's a meeting of equals during the talking phase. You need to honestly explore what will work for you.

Then take it slowly. Explore and keep it safe and consensual.

Posted

Funny how you say you have a wife but your status is single ? 

Anyways if whatever your saying is completely true. 

Most of all things is to  have  consensus ad idem. 

There are a few Lobby people who are in a d/s marriage relationship you could reach out to them they are nice people to talk to. 

Research on: soft limits , hard limits , rules , punishments ,safeword, cnc play, consent , TPE , 24/7 , role play , sub drop , dom drop , after care ,sub space etc. (there are a few articles on here you could have a browse)

What you’ve said sounds like you’ve dived in a little already to BDSM ... Keep exploring and communicating see how your wife reacts and how you react ... what you enjoy and what you don’t. 

An example is you might want to think whether or not you want 7 days a week to be in a d/s or maybe a couple of days where you are the Dom and your wife is a sub. Another is you wanna be able to know when your in d/s and not d/s. 

Submission is a gift not to be abused(not implying you are )  so must remember when your wife is your wife you treat her as your wife and not your sub - you don’t wanna conflict yourself and mistakenly cause issue in your d/s relationship. Unless you are wanting 24/7 d/s relationship. 

Have fun and stay safe ! (the above are just my opinion that I’d like to share with you and your wife ) however your d/s relationship should be what you guys want to be unique in your own way. 

All the best ! ☘️

 

  • Like 2
Wildbill0124
Posted
12 hours ago, KCurious said:

Funny how you say you have a wife but your status is single ? 

Anyways if whatever your saying is completely true. 

Most of all things is to  have  consensus ad idem. 

There are a few Lobby people who are in a d/s marriage relationship you could reach out to them they are nice people to talk to. 

Research on: soft limits , hard limits , rules , punishments ,safeword, cnc play, consent , TPE , 24/7 , role play , sub drop , dom drop , after care ,sub space etc. (there are a few articles on here you could have a browse)

What you’ve said sounds like you’ve dived in a little already to BDSM ... Keep exploring and communicating see how your wife reacts and how you react ... what you enjoy and what you don’t. 

An example is you might want to think whether or not you want 7 days a week to be in a d/s or maybe a couple of days where you are the Dom and your wife is a sub. Another is you wanna be able to know when your in d/s and not d/s. 

Submission is a gift not to be abused(not implying you are )  so must remember when your wife is your wife you treat her as your wife and not your sub - you don’t wanna conflict yourself and mistakenly cause issue in your d/s relationship. Unless you are wanting 24/7 d/s relationship. 

Have fun and stay safe ! (the above are just my opinion that I’d like to share with you and your wife ) however your d/s relationship should be what you guys want to be unique in your own way. 

All the best ! ☘️

 

Yeah I some how skipped part of my profile set up apparently. We have looked into alot of reading together and talked about what we both absolutely want to explore and what things are a hard no. She suggested that we make a contract to outline everything we both want and agree on. 

Posted
3 hours ago, Wildbill0124 said:

Yeah I some how skipped part of my profile set up apparently. We have looked into alot of reading together and talked about what we both absolutely want to explore and what things are a hard no. She suggested that we make a contract to outline everything we both want and agree on. 

Yeah thats an amazing start ! 

Oh btw you can have a couple profile set up instead of just you in it ahahaa. 

 

FabSeverus
Posted

good for you,

well the good part is that you have been together enought time to know each other well. Like dislikes etc, life routine, sexual preferences etc..

we dont know what kind of dynamic you want to get into so its difficult to answer really. are you the Dom or the sub ?

maybe you should attend a munch in your area and see if you find another couple who could show you the ropes...

remember make sure its what you want because your marriage could get a wild ride....

Wildbill0124
Posted
13 minutes ago, FabSeverus said:

good for you,

well the good part is that you have been together enought time to know each other well. Like dislikes etc, life routine, sexual preferences etc..

we dont know what kind of dynamic you want to get into so its difficult to answer really. are you the Dom or the sub ?

maybe you should attend a munch in your area and see if you find another couple who could show you the ropes...

remember make sure its what you want because your marriage could get a wild ride....

I'm the Dom. Things like that aren't really an option around here. Small southern towns don't have alot of tolerance let alone gatherings for anything outside of the "ordinary" 

FabSeverus
Posted

have you looked on fetlife its usually the best place to find events or groups in your area...

 


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