How to find the right sub To connect with

[MrDom78]

What have people here found works when looking for someone to connect with...how to find someone with similar expectations.  Example, if I like giving orgasm ***, how to find someone who is happy to oblige? 

[ey****]

I think the trap(?) to always avoid is what I call mirror logic

It's a mistake many guys make which goes like this : "I am into doing/receiving this.... therefore there is a someone who isn't receiving/doing this - we'd be perfect for each other"

The logic looks sound but the words missing are "with you" - if you look in vanilla world - lots of women like sex, but they don't automatically want sex with men who like sex.

Kink/fetish often narrows down what we look for in a partner - finding a partner *in general* can be hard, so the more criteria you apply (she must look like this, she must be into this, she must... etc) then the harder it is to find someone - and finding someone who fits has no certainty you fit their needs.

OK.

So, is there anything we can to boost our chances - of course.

First off - the stuff you want to do, boost your knowledge on it - this means if given the opportunity then you at least know what you're doing

Secondly - look for the person, not the fetish.   It's easier to find someone you generally connect with an introduce them to an idea, then it is to find someone who fits into your specifications and connect with them

[Deleted Member]

All I have been doing is reading women's profiles and messaging those who sound like they match. The biggest issue is that for every 50 women I contact, I might receive one reply, and even then they usually just stop replying after a few hours. It seems to be a really long waiting game

[Deleted Member]

One word Respect xx Be respectful aim to get a connection with getting to know them not straight in with what you like want and expect from them respect is earnt way before trust is given

[Ra****]

I would say read people's profiles. Try different apps. Go to events... I think having similar expectations is very important but at the same time people usually stretch their expectations and even what they believe is a limit for them for someone they trust deeply and with whom they formed a great connection with..

[Ra****]

Also Beau is very right. Don't go straight into what you expect from someone. Be respectful and take your time building a connection. This isn't to say you shouldn't say what you are into and discuss that but still I don't answer to people that start with actions instead of wanting to get to know me. I would also say to write your profile as you have nothing there. To me that shows you are not willing to put in the effort to even let people know you to know what you want etc.

[Mi****]

7 years ago I received a very polite and respectful message from a young man telling me a bit about himself and his interests and asking if I would be interested in him as a sub. I replied that I thought he was a little too young for me and lived a little too far away but thanked him for his polite request. He accepted my decision gracefully but asked if he could send a friend request, I agreed and assumed that would be the last I heard from him. However he messaged most days and we had some amusing and interesting chats then when my birthday came around he asked if he could take me out for a meal, I agreed and a date was set for him to travel down to Manchester. When we met we felt as if we had known each other for years and we both felt the connection even though we had mostly different kinks. 6 months later he moved to Manchester permanently and we have been together ever since. We still have different kinks but we try to find common ground and have discovered new kinks that we both enjoy.

Sorry this has been a bit long and rambly but the moral of this story is that I found a connection to the man not the kink and the rest we made work for us