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Training a sub who is in a relationship and swinging between modes


Mikelee-9178

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Mikelee-9178
Posted

Hi there,

A little bit background about myself, I am a 36yo master from HK. I practice kinky sex for years but I have never owned a long term slave.

Recently (3 months ago) I met a guy who I am very into. We discussed a lots and he agrees to be a long term slave. We had great kinky sex and the dynamic during the sessions were good. 

But there are some prombles, he is partnered and he is also very busy with work. So we can only maintain daily whatsapp chats and meet infrequently (2-3 times a month). We talked a lots about the potential power exchange (living be a 24/7 slave, finance etc) and we are both very excited about the ideas. However, we both known that there is a long road before it really happens. And from time to time he would swing between modes (submissive and non-submissive mode, as he is a professional, so when he is very busy and not horny, he would be very independent and withdraw). 

 

His swinging between modes is especially severe immediately after we had kinky session (i would say it is getting better now but very disturbing). He actually knows about it himself and he claims that he would like me to train him and altered his behaviour.

I have gone through certain BDSM pages and read about behaviour modifications. But I am a bit confused on how to make them into practice. I am wondering if anyone has similar experience in training a slave with that behaviour? Could anyone please kindly give me some advice on that?

 

And any advice to train a someone who is in a relationship? Cause it also affects how he reacts to me as a master. When their relationship is up, ours is down. 

Though he agrees on the fact that if we continue doing this (master slave relationship), he would need to change his current status. But I would really like to know how show a master react and do with this properly.

 

Thank you so much for reading this. Please kindly give me some advices as I am starting to feel confused and lost. 

 

Posted

I think the truth of the situation...

he is potentially having a rocky patch in his relationship and his relationship with you is potentially his fallback, coping method or fallback.   

I am guessing that his current partner is unaware of the relationship the two of you have.  If not, the three of you could discuss a situation better for you all.  If not, I think - this could ultimately end in disappointment.  He's probably not going to leave his current partner, you're just a side-fantasy, but - should he leave them for you - can you fully satisfy?

Posted
I'm sorry to say but 24/7 Master/slave and multiple relationships simply don't work. How can you truly own him 24/7 when he cannot always be yours, unless you co-owned him with his other partner and then the communication between you and the other partner would have to be spot on to avoid confusion. You could scale it back to a D/s relationship as it doesn't need to be so demanding on time. I feel that his behaviour after you've had a play session is probably the result of him knowing he is lying to himself (and you) about wanting a 24/7 dynamic on top of subdrop, which you will have to deal with. Multiple relationships do work in my opinion but only with honesty and realistic expectations.. it's doomed otherwise.
Mikelee-9178
Posted

Thanks for the kind replies.

So it seems that impossible for a master to change the status of his slave relationship?

Posted

ultimately.  nobody should be seeking to change anyone else's existing relationships.

unless it's to help improve them.

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