Needtofacefart Posted June 7, 2019 Posted June 7, 2019 I need advice to do damage control. My ex husband has custody of my son. I get him every other weekend, six weeks in the summer, and certain holidays. His father is a huge redneck and homophobic. Yesterday, my son pointed at a young man who was wearing brown skinny jeans and said Wow how gay is he? And then shook his head. The first thing I said was Who told you being gay was a bad thing? I had not brought up all of life's possibilities to him yet since he's only 11. He said Daddy said being gay is a really bad thing. I then proceeded to tell him that his father was wrong. Then I brought up examples of people we both know. I said You know Mommy's hairdresser? The one you said must have a lot of girlfriend's because he's so cool? Remember meeting his roommate who you also said was cool? That was actually his husband. Have they ever done us wrong? Have they ever been mean to us ? He said No, but Dad couldn't have been all wrong or why would he say it? So, I'm sure everyone can see my dilemma. Help me please with the next step. I don't want my kid to be close minded or bigoted.
Hexy Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 Being gay or straight doesnt change who a person is. Its what they do that defines them. You could also tell him that sexuality is not realy a choice either. There are lots of successful homosexuals out there like ellen degeneres, neil patrick harris, elton john, billy joel armstrong... The list goes on. Being gay isnt a good or a bad thing, its just who someone is and who they love. Hope this helps
Needtofacefart Posted June 8, 2019 Author Posted June 8, 2019 Thank you! I will explain it that way to him later this afternoon.
xz**** Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 First stop - the dictionary. Get him to look up these words... racist homophobe nasty hate bigot Then once hes read them get him to write down their meaning (not copy) in his own words. Ask him if he thinks he is any of them? Ask him if he thinks it is wrong to be any of them? (there will be your answers on what he really thinks but....dont yet comment OR prompt). Ask him if he thinks YOU are any of them? Ask him if he thinks his father is any of them? Hopefully he will have done his own self explanation and teaching on the real negative attitude and you will only have to rein*** his originally misguided language. Sit and watch an old B+W movie where the word is used to mean happy maybe too.
Recommended Posts