Deleted Member Posted June 10, 2019 Posted June 10, 2019 Okay so before I go into this. It's probably best that I explain. I was very fortunate to have met a fantastic women on another site, she wanted to explore her submissive kinks and to get away from issues at home. Long story short, we have had the most amazing 8 months with each other, meeting at least once per week and we both feel we have grown massively as Dom and sub. We set clear boundaries at the beginning to keep on top of things emotionally, and to a large extent we have succeeded in doing this. However there was a sideswipe that neither of us expected.....she has decided that to resolve her situation it needs a make or break solution. I fully support her in that and I hope which ever it is she becomes as happy as she deserves. Neither of us want to actually stop seeing each other, and both are feeling the pull back to each other, which we are so far resisting. We don't want to stop communication as we both get on well as people. However the close bond we have formed and also a very flat empty feeling seems to be catching us both unaware. We knew what we signed up for, and both tried our best to constantly discuss and remind ourselves of the limits and what could happen long term....but it's still a pretty crap feeling. It would be good to get both sub and Dom advice on this.
MasterScorpio Posted June 10, 2019 Posted June 10, 2019 I am dealing with a very similar situation. There is no easy answer. I am taking a few steps back and keeping lines of communication open. Problem with doing that is you are constantly reminded of what may have been but cutting things off completely means you gave up on the relationship. Six months down road situation could be completely different but if you cut off communication you would never know and vice versa. I am an old man. I have been thru this before and the flat empty feeling will go away with time. Keeping communication open will be harder because it will feel like you are scraping the scab of the wound each time you talk. It comes down to this are you willing to deal with *** of keeping the wound open in order to possibly be able to revive relationship at a future date. Obviously the easiest move is to let it go and move on. You need to add up all the pluses and minuses for your situation and decide what is best for you. Sometimes we need to burn the barn down and rebuild it hoping it will be stronger next time. Sometimes we need to leave an open patch of soil where the barn once stood.
Deleted Member Posted June 10, 2019 Author Posted June 10, 2019 Thank you for your response that seems to be very much along the lines I have been thinking. Am I best to purposefully reduce contact not because I want too...it's very much the opposite, but more to allow her time to resolve her thoughts and to think things clearly for herself....or do I do as we both agreed and keep chatting, and seeing where things lead. Thanks again for taking the time to offer advice. It is appreciated
Mz**** Posted June 10, 2019 Posted June 10, 2019 This is just one of the reasons I steer clear of the married and attached, I can't separate my feelings that way, one of my many flaws..that limbo you find yourself in sucks. I'm sorry I have no useful advice, but I couldn't just pass this by without saying I sincerely hope you both manage to find yourselves at peace with whatever happens. Good luck x
Deleted Member Posted June 10, 2019 Author Posted June 10, 2019 (edited) 3 minutes ago, MzJax said: This is just one of the reasons I steer clear of the married and attached, I can't separate my feelings that way, one of my many flaws..that limbo you find yourself in sucks. I'm sorry I have no useful advice, but I couldn't just pass this by without saying I sincerely hope you both manage to find yourselves at peace with whatever happens. Good luck x Thank you MzJax, I am sure we will find the way that's best for us both. We've always had excellent communication between us. But we both admit it did catch us off guard a little. Thank you for the kind wishes Edited June 10, 2019 by Deleted Member
Deleted Member Posted June 12, 2019 Author Posted June 12, 2019 bringing emotions into bdsm is a bad move. Always keep control of your emotion to avoid disappointed or down side time. obviously care and respect is part of it.
Deleted Member Posted June 12, 2019 Author Posted June 12, 2019 5 hours ago, FabSeverus said: bringing emotions into bdsm is a bad move. Always keep control of your emotion to avoid disappointed or down side time. obviously care and respect is part of it. I don't disagree at all. And that is something we both took a lot of time and communication about to try and prevent from happening. We both entered this with very clear lines of expectations and rules......this interesting development over the last few days has been that the ongoing communication and also mutual respect has helped I think. Of course we will see in due time I am sure. Thanks for the input
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