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fetish_girl

D/s contract

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fetish_girl
Posted

Hi!   I'm in my first D/s relationship, and we've been talking loosely about whether we should write up a contract or not...
I'd love to get some advice on this. When is it a good time for a contract? What should be in it? Anything in particular we should keep in mind? 

 

 

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amare_funem
Posted
It depends on how far you are into the relationship . I would suggest a contract is potentially a good idea but you will both need to work out what you are looking for so this can be included and then the usual safewords etc.

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Posted

A contract can be as formal as you like - SubmissiveGuide.com has a few great examples on their site if you want it to be written. Contracts aren't a requirement, but if you are going to use one, I've found they're good at the beginning of a relationship or when you're making a transition to something new (new dynamic, new rules, etc.). 

For ideas of what to include in it, I'd suggest:

What rules, tasks, rituals will be in place . What the consequences will be for a broken rule or bad behavior (assuming you have some discipline aspect to your relationship). What the Dominant will and won't do. What the submissive will and won't do. Any special protocols - titles to be used, ways to address each other, when and how you'll communicate with each other (open communication is best in my opinion but in high protocol dynamics, a formal method may work best). Hard and soft limits could also be included. Whatever you put in it, know that you can and should be able to renegotiate any aspect of it. You may want to include when you'll formally review the contract (every month? every few months? as needed?).

I don't think every D/s relationship needs or has to have a contract but they can be really helpful for making sure you both know exactly what you're agreeing to, what you want, what you don't want, and what the rules and expectations are for both of you.

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Posted
Have a contract, it will protect both of you should it ever break down. The Police are now empowered to issue Domestic Violence Protection Orders. If either one of you leaves a mark on the other it WILL get messy. I know.

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